Wednesday, August 31, 2005


When I got home from my walk around 9:00pm Sunday night, my wife and I watched the news as Katrina made her way directly toward New Orleans. My wife said, "We better get gas." I agreed. Apparently, we were the only bellringers in the neighborhood because there was almost no one up at the pumps. We returned and I sat down and began looking for a webcam online. Whaddya know, I found five different cameras in operation as the storm neared. All of them took still shots every 2 minutes and one had a live stream which was called "Parade Cam" because it was situated on the side of the restaraunt with a direct shot of the street where parades would make their way down during Mardi Gras. Another camera was overlooking the bridge crossing the river while another was situated high above French Quarter. As Katrina made it's way closer to land, we were given the stunning images below. Taken from above French Quarter:

3:00: Rain, wind. Katrina heads in.

3:15: Rain begins to intensify.

3:30: A full blown hurricane.

3:30: "Parade" when the hurricane arrives. Grim outlook.

4:00: "Parade" just minutes from losing transmission, darkness sets in.

Below is the entire chat beginning at 10:30 or so between my bro bro and myself. I was going to stay up all night to watch the arrival of Katrina, however, I eventually grew tired right around 4:30 and gave in to sleep. Todd, on the west coast and two hours behind, gave up shortly thereafter. Wuss.

Enjoy, if you so choose to endure this long meaningless chat. I suppose I'm doing it more for logging this somewhere.

Sarah & Todd says:20-ft storm surge? That's insane!

Sarah & Todd says:haha

j3 says:yeah...incredible.

Sarah & Todd says:just in case the cane changes course and hums over to LA

j3 says:i really fear for those new orleans folks...

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding. have you ever been there?

j3 says:nah...wanted to here and there, but never made it there.

Sarah & Todd says:it's a dump. if this thing hits as hard as they're sayign it will, it's gonna be a huge loss.

j3 says:could be a mess on the other side of this storm...actually, undoubtedbly a mess.

j3 says:hey, did you check the blog? did you recognize pharrel?

Sarah & Todd says:i mean, historically, there's some cool stuff, but there's a LOT of homeless and VERY poor folks there that are up a creek without a paddle.

Sarah & Todd says:hold on.

Sarah & Todd says:whoa...check out the cam.

Sarah & Todd says:sustained winds at 160mph

j3 says:the parade cam?

j3 says:looks pretty calm right now.

Sarah & Todd says:just saw a patrol car go by with lights flying.

j3 says:white suburban?

Sarah & Todd says:holy crap...if this thing hits (yeah) N.O could be under water for 6 months!

j3 says:

j3 says:i just happened to click on this with a streak of lightning.

j3 says:it's gone now.

j3 says:dude, my fascination with weather is in overdrive right now.

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding! i'm lovin it!

j3 says:i mean, i hate the pending disaster, but when mother nature strikes, sometimes all you can do is just watch.

Sarah & Todd says:i just got off a freakin' island where i could see 5 shooting stars in 15 minutes and the milky way to boot and i'm just rollin now!

j3 says:serious.

j3 says:i think it's pretty awesome to see NO dark and quiet...

j3 says:just fascinating to me to see human kind running for cover because of nature's incredible power.

j3 says:like "get the hell outta here!"

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding

j3 says:hold on.

j3 says:i'll be back in a couple of minutes...empty the dryer.

Sarah & Todd says:agiht

Sarah & Todd says:BurbouCam is out of commission.

Sarah & Todd says:nice rap hands, spock.

j3 says:haha...

j3 says:cubbies highlights.

j3 says:zambrano's triple...

j3 says:haha...

j3 says:go man.

j3 says:go man

j3 says:that's freaking awesome.

j3 says:i really like zambrano as much as a headcase as he is.

Sarah & Todd says:he's really calmed down a lot this year.

Sarah & Todd says:i think having maddux there has been huge for him.

j3 says:yeah, i can see that.

Sarah & Todd says:used to be that he'd give up one or two runs and it'd be all downhill from there.

Sarah & Todd says:now, he's unflappable on most nights.

j3 says:fox news has a great cam showing the waves hitting the land.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah...that's where i'm at.

j3 says:i call that pulling a "lowe"

Sarah & Todd says:lowe's been a dumper this year.

j3 says:ooh, they're talking about the graves above land.

Sarah & Todd says:did that guy just say, "sick as hell"?

Sarah & Todd says:yeah...that'd be ugly.

j3 says:i don't know...i'm going between there and sportscenter.

Sarah & Todd says:pre-apocalypse.

j3 says:i think i'll lbe up all night.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah

j3 says:i'm recalling vincent price's monologue on "thriller"

Sarah & Todd says:me too...supposed to hit at 5am...that's 3am for me...i might just do it.

j3 says:another car going down the street on the parade cam..."LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"

j3 says:they like flew by at 60 mph...

j3 says:that was funny.


j3 says: j3 says:not understanding the reference.

j3 says:like the guy that just woke up from his hard night out and realizes that everyone's left town...

Sarah & Todd says:that cd that i played for you...the comedian. Cajun--translate "make the circle"

j3 says:oh!!!!!! hahahah...

Sarah & Todd says:dat dere dah devil swamp road!

j3 says:difference between a 4 and a 5...

j3 says:says this man: it's liek the difference between getting run over by a eighteen wheeler and getting run over by a freight train.

Sarah & Todd says:geez...brutal.

j3 says:yeah, he then said, "yeah, neither result is very favorable."

j3 says:line of the evening.

j3 says:sox highlights coming up.

Sarah & Todd says:kind of like would you rather burn to death or drown?

Sarah & Todd says:um...i'll take life for 200, bob.

j3 says:yeah..

Sarah & Todd says:hey, we may hit Price is Right on Sept 21.

j3 says:geez...jason's still juicing.

j3 says:that was like a fly ball that almost cleared the upper deck.

Sarah & Todd says:big group from fuller...guaranteed to get somebody on tv!

Sarah & Todd says:yeah...the juice is loose.

j3 says:dude, just tap it out're attracting the wrong kinda attention.

Sarah & Todd says:roid rage.

j3 says:haha.

Sarah & Todd says:maybe he'll do the world a favor and kill ARod.

j3 says:yeah, in some sort of locker room horseplay like mice and men.

j3 says:like he was just putting him in a playful headlock and off pops a-rod's melon...

j3 says:"wha happuned?"

j3 says:"jeter, wha did i doo?"

j3 says:jeeta! wha did i do?

j3 says:alux, say sumthin.

j3 says:say sumthin.

j3 says:man, kanye killed on his vma performance...w/ jamie foxx.j3 says:it was nice.

j3 says:otherwise a laughable show...

j3 says:kanye's gonna make us some money on tuesday...

Sarah & Todd says:awesome...i'm gonna have to catch a rebroadcast.

j3 says:just saw a patrol car with lights go by.

Sarah & Todd says:nice.

j3 says:those pics from the superdome were incredible.

j3 says:all those people.

j3 says:gotta feel bad for transportation.

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding.

j3 says:and here's this news camera filming them like "look at all the poor people."

j3 says:wish they had a cam in there, though..

j3 says:i gotta wonder what that's gonna be like.

j3 says:i can't imagine sleeping in stadium seats.

j3 says:ouch...

Sarah & Todd on hotel rwanda with all the stupid whitees riding off the bus to their big homes saying "good bye poor people oppressed by civil war...we'll see you on the news...can you pose for a picutre?

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding.

j3 says:yeah.

j3 says:haven't seen it.

Sarah & Todd's great. Don Cheadle rocks that role

j3 says:yeah, we saw crash light night...he was awesome in it.

j3 says:otherwise a somewhat forgettable movie.

j3 says:i was stoked to see it, but then was left unfulfilled.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah...i want to see it. it's in LA, yes?

j3 says:yeah...i'll tell you this, great premise...

j3 says:but the dialogue about race was just so goofy...

j3 says:you'll see what i mean.

Sarah & Todd says:unfortunate.

Sarah & Todd says:saw red eye the other night.

j3 says:yeah, i'm all about people getting better at race relations but some of the lines in there to "paint the picture of bigotry" (i'm quoting myself) were NO ONE WOULD SAY THAT TO A BLACK GUY!

Sarah & Todd says:yeah...bad writing...gotta be believable.

j3 says:and ludacris is like a pro-black car thief...what the?

Sarah & Todd says:like something from Blazing Saddles or something.

j3 says:yeah, i think it was written by a white guy.

Sarah & Todd says:well, he took the role.

j3 says:yeah, true...

j3 says:just trying to work on his acting chops, i think.

Sarah & Todd says:hopefully

j3 says:i think ludacris is awfully talented, but that movie did him no justice at all.

Sarah & Todd says:man...salvation army with 50 rolling kitchens ready to roll.

Sarah & Todd says:wind is picking up on teh camj3 says:if i was down in NO, i would streak in front of the parade cam.

j3 says:yeah it is...

Sarah & Todd says:hahaha

j3 says:looked like the camera was gettin ga little rattled at times...

Sarah & Todd says:you'd need a magnifying glass straped to your crotch...might make you run funny.

j3 says:i kinda want to know where this camera is's like, i wanna meet this he's my buddy...

j3 says:biatch.

Sarah & Todd says:sorry...couldn't resist.

j3 says:15 inches of rain...i can't comprehend...

j3 says:that'd be close to 20 feet of snow.

Sarah & Todd says:did you find an online calc. to make that number?

j3 says:no...built in calculator.

j3 says:remember, i'm a weather fan.

Sarah & Todd says:indeed

j3 says:like tonight, there was a storm making it's way into amarillo.

j3 says:and we went to the store to get groceries...

j3 says:i told erin, "it's totally going to miss us."

j3 says:she said, "that huge storm?"

j3 says:"yeah, going to miss us altogether."

j3 says:"no way!"

j3 says:"yep"

j3 says:two hours later, not a drop of rain...thing did a u-turn and headed back to colorado...well, not exactly...

j3 says:but it just died.

j3 says:another patrol car...

j3 says:going after a streaker i think.

Sarah & Todd says:was that you?

j3 says:nah.

j3 says:oh, starting a diet this week.

j3 says:better pray for me.

j3 says:it's gonna be tough.

\j3 says:red meat and veggies for the first three days...

j3 says:and lots of water...

Sarah & Todd says:whoa...rough.

j3 says:of course, i found a diet online that said that biker crank was okay...thank god.

j3 says:kidding

j3 says:don't knwo what i'm getting mysefl into...dude, i weigh 240 pounds!

j3 says:i gotta trim down...seriously.

Sarah & Todd says:me too...i'm at 225

j3 says:my tits weigh about 60.

Sarah & Todd says:not happy at all.

j3 says:yeah, two eggs and half an orange for breakfast...

Sarah & Todd says:***fattah baby, you're the makah fat-time a so much fun!**

j3 says:salad and chicken and light dressing for lunch..

.j3 says:and a reasonable dinner...

j3 says:i already got my dinner's figured out...

j3 says:two corn tortillas crisped....

j3 says:1/4 pound of meat, lightly seasoned no salt.

j3 says:lettuce...

j3 says:and homemade salsa with no preservatives.

Sarah & Todd says:sweet

.j3 says:i'm permitted low calorie beer...

Sarah & Todd says:i still need you to send me some salsa recipes.

j3 says:i'm not drinking any cokes...

j3 says:erin said, low calorie beer or diet coke...

j3 says:uh, beer.

Sarah & Todd says:nice.

j3 says:2 liters of water a day.

j3 says:2.5 mile walk in the evenings...four times a week.

Sarah & Todd says:had a michelob lager tonight...hawaiian buddy brought it over while we cooked steaks...not good...not bad.

j3 says:and some good sweaty yard work.

j3 says:yeah, it's still michelob...

Sarah & Todd says:good for you. i'm gonna get back in the gym.

Sarah & Todd says:indeed it ain't shiner.

j3 says:yeah, i'm staying away from the gym...i hate that place.

Sarah & Todd says:i like dah shiner

j3 says:shiner blonde is an exquisite beer...

j3 says:shiner light doesn't work on the diet...

Sarah & Todd says:mine ain't too bad.

j3 says:there's like 140 calories.

Sarah & Todd says:gym that is.

j3 says:i just feel like a hamster in there...

j3 says:i like getting out and walking...

j3 says:jax doesn't like it when i go walking because he's like, "oh crap, forrest wants to walk."

Sarah & Todd says:hahah

j3 says:i'm out for like an hour and a half.

Sarah & Todd says:nice.

j3 says:i wore sweat pants today...increase the water loss.

Sarah & Todd says:i just get up there to lift and maybe do some rowing stuff.

j3 says:dude, i just got into madden 2000 today...

j3 says:i'm so behind.

Sarah & Todd says:dehydration doesn't equal weight loss.

Sarah & Todd says:hahah

j3 says:i me, i drink me some water...

Sarah & Todd says:i'm really wantin' NCAA 2006

Sarah & Todd says:i'm sure

j3 says:i was like, "amazing! it's like madden's commenting on my game and the graphics are insane!"

Sarah & Todd says:hahahaha

j3 says:historic calamity.

Sarah & Todd says:i was about to say the same thing.

Sarah & Todd says:great line

j3 says:that's what the guy just said.

j3 says:yeah...

Sarah & Todd says:caught that.

j3 says:so yeah, my goal is to lose 30 pounds by end of the year...i think it's achievable.

Sarah & Todd says:i wish that thing would blow off right now.

j3 says:i told erin i want to lose my boobies...

j3 says:that's my goal.

j3 says:that dish?

Sarah & Todd says:holy crap...that dish would reap havoc!

j3 says:yeah...

Sarah & Todd says:ha...40mph...he's in for a rude awakening.

j3 says:i want the traditional man-leaning-into-the-hurricane hurricane coverage is complete without the rookie meterologist putting all of his weight into a wind yelling, "katie, the wind's really whipping right now!"

Sarah & Todd says:indeed

Sarah & Todd says:i just want to hear "katie" say, "yeah...idiot...why don't you get back in the truck"

j3 says:haha...freakin rook.

Sarah & Todd phone coverage...a hurricane staple

Sarah & Todd says:girl shut up..."the school's just stringing us along on a wire right now" the school knows if it will even be standing tomorrow night.

j3 says:chesapeake...that's where i'd be.

Sarah & Todd says:haha

j3 says:hahaha...yeah.

j3 says:dude, my computer cam is better than this footage.

Sarah & Todd says:Tulane's downtown...12 ft below sea's toast.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah.

j3 says:i wanna see one of these trees go down.

Sarah & Todd says:all of a sudden that light in the upper left corner gets real clear.

j3 says:is awfully quiet down here right now.

Sarah & Todd says:"gettin' real quiet here right now"

j3 says:duh.

Sarah & Todd says:haha

j3 says:yeah...blinding light from the upper left corner.

j3 says:yeah, going in front of my street cam.

j3 says:yep, we found this guy streaking.

j3 says:whoa, waves looking huge...

Sarah & Todd says:gettin' bigger

Sarah & Todd says:they need wipers on these webcams

j3 says:haha...

j3 says:i wanna be around when the power goes out...

j3 says:see those lights go out...then all the sudden no cam.

Sarah & Todd says:static......................................................................................................................................

j3 says:wait, that wasn't a cop car.

Sarah & Todd says:"Go BIlly! GO!

j3 says:see a guy carrying a tv go across the camview.

j3 says:freakin looters.

Sarah & Todd says:another woman who was not so lucky...she was running without legs...

j3 says:i feel like i'm the only one watching this cam...

j3 says:dude, high winds...

j3 says:gusting pretty good.

j3 says:pretty good view of the storm though...i'm gonna check the building tops and bridge view.

Sarah & Todd says:i just keep getting stills on those.

Sarah & Todd says:send me a link

j3 says:

j3 says:

j3 says:i'm trying to find others.

j3 says:oh yeah, sorry, they're just stills.

j3 says:no video.

j3 says:i keep trying to find video...i'll search some more.

Sarah & Todd says:here in few hours there will be a big black spot where that bridge is.

j3 says:yeah, that's what i'm thinking.

Sarah & Todd says:geez...brutal line

Sarah & Todd says:Die hards will die...hard.

j3 says:wishful thinking: i hope these things are on generators.

j3 says:brutal lline...we need to compile quotables from this storm.

j3 says:i guess we could just save this conversation.

j3 says:i'm going to check on erin...

j3 says:be back.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah

Sarah & Todd says:man...french quarter totally gone.

Sarah & Todd says:$1000 for a plane ticket? are you kidding me? i guess that's one way to make sure the rich folks stay alive.

Sarah & Todd says:is the bridge elect out?

j3 says:i missed that, what's the deal?

j3 says:erin was like,"are you really going to stay up all night?"

j3 says:i said, "for a front row seat for the storm of the century, no doubt."

j3 says:tomorrow will most likely suck.

j3 says:there i go in a cop car...

Sarah & Todd says:indeed

Sarah & Todd says:did you check the bridge stills?

j3 says:geez...

j3 says:what the?

j3 says:the warning lights are still on...the red lights on top.

Sarah & Todd lights

j3 says:whoa...getting bad.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah...parade picking up

Sarah & Todd says:this may be one of the greatest nights of storm viewing in Wyrick Bros. history.

j3 says:i say...

j3 says:wouldn't miss it for the world.

Sarah & Todd says:no doubt.

Sarah & Todd says:oh crap...i'm looking at 4 am bedtime.

j3 says:i'm looking at staying up all night.

j3 says:figure it's a small price to pay against what some people are going through right now.

Sarah & Todd says:oooo...biloxi...i stayed one night there...ate at denny's...breakfast skillet.

Sarah & Todd says:true

Sarah & Todd says:do you hear this guy trying to sound cajun?

Sarah & Todd says:New Ahlins.

Sarah & Todd says:it's Nahlins.

Sarah & Todd says:what a dope.

j3 says:yeah...

Sarah & Todd says:"idiotic"

j3 says:i'm starting to save the images...every 15 minutes...from the bridge to the building top.

j3 says:so i can get a progressive picture.

Sarah & Todd says:good thinkin

j3 says:lights just went out on parade...

j3 says:we just went dark on the otherside of the street.

Sarah & Todd says:yep

Sarah & Todd says:great...geraldo

j3 says:haha.

j3 says:big glops of water on the camera...

Sarah & Todd says:"conversion kit"

j3 says:haha...

Sarah & Todd says:he's an ass

j3 says:i agrree.

Sarah & Todd says:thank you for your sympathy, Major

Sarah & Todd says:he's gonna go down on the phone.

j3 says:"whoa, we got debris!"

Sarah & Todd says:wait till the alley cat flies down Parade.

Sarah & Todd says:is "copy fine" good etiquette?

Sarah & Todd says:"incredible disaster"

j3 says:i just think it'd be funny if some guy all the sudden a guy comes into view with a towel, wipes off the camera, gives a thumbs up and winks and then disappears.

j3 says:geez...wind.

Sarah & Todd says:hahahhaahaha

Sarah & Todd says:whao....i just lost the cam

Sarah & Todd says:oh...stupid real network

j3 says:yeah...

Sarah & Todd says:we're back live on Parade

j3 says:i just did too...back on...

Sarah & Todd says:mmmm...prostate cancer

Sarah & Todd says:whoa! wind much?

Sarah & Todd says:green light.

j3 says:man...

j3 says:not a cop car.

Sarah & Todd says:Billy

j3 says:"we gotta billy."

Sarah & Todd says:is he in a t-shirt?

j3 says:yeah, REAL professional, buddy.

j3 says:and nice ballcap...c'mon, man, you're working for a newscast...where's your jacket...

Sarah & Todd says:totally

Sarah & Todd says:red...bright red

j3 says:uh oh.

j3 says:that view is awesome.

Sarah & Todd says:which one?

Sarah & Todd says:low res.

j3 says:with the waves...i can't get over that...

Sarah & Todd says:cmon fox

Sarah & Todd says:wow...this guy's a genius..."a lot of water in NO"

Sarah & Todd says:ummm...big bags of sand.

Sarah & Todd says:interesting how everybody and their dog starts praying when there's a storm.

Sarah & Todd says:oh man...great shot!

j3 says:didn't see it.

Sarah & Todd says:wow...people literally dying to get out of NO

j3 says:yeah, i'm not surprised...

Sarah & Todd says:i swear...i keep getting timed out all of a sudden on my parade cam

j3 says:cgheck out this girl.l

j3 says:did you see her?

Sarah & Todd says:where?

j3 says:wait when they go back to the bridge...

j3 says:it'll be in a while...

Sarah & Todd says:on fox?

j3 says:but that shot at the superdome where they're panning along the line of people...

j3 says:be on the lookout...

Sarah & Todd says:alright...what am i looking for?

j3 says:this girl throws her hands in the air like, "take a pic of my poor ass! go ahead, make it last longer."

Sarah & Todd says:nice.

Sarah & Todd says:are you having trouble with timeouts on Parade St.?

j3 says:man, they were about to show it.

j3 says:no...

j3 says:i'm not.

j3 says:i like watching the traffic lights...

j3 says:watch fox...

Sarah & Todd says:bouncing around

Sarah & Todd says:"we send good thoughts your way"...trite

j3 says:yeah, what's taht about?

Sarah & Todd says:"Hey! Thanks for your good thoughts...i'll store them up for a rainy day...crap for brains!"

j3 says:hahaha...nice.

Sarah & Todd says:"For 24-hour coverage of lives destroyed, watch Fox!"

j3 says:did she say hurricane kneviel?

j3 says:double, uh, bad news.

Sarah & Todd says:double bad news for ...uh...alot of people

Sarah & Todd says:nice

j3 says:whoa...tree branch about to hit the parade cam

Sarah & Todd says:highest point = still screwed.

j3 says:whoa, bad rain on parade....

Sarah & Todd says:"are you telling me that you're going to go directly against conventional wisdom and empiracal data?"

j3 says:two patrol cars down parade...

Sarah & Todd says:loading

Sarah & Todd says:why did this guy call fox?

j3 says:i don't know...

j3 says:he acts like they called him and woke him up.

j3 says:yeah, you're going to avoid that water until the entire atlantic ocean is in the street.

Sarah & Todd says:or in your living room

j3 says:man, things are getting exciting on parade...still having problems?

Sarah & Todd and on

Sarah & Todd says:but getting some good shots right now

Sarah & Todd says:windy

j3 says:branches to the right are getting close.

j3 says:another streaker.

j3 says:imagine that has to be kinda eerie driving around...

Sarah & Todd says:oh, you konw it.

j3 says:sir, could you please move out of view of the're making viewing difficult.

Sarah & Todd says:"unprecedented event"

j3 says:that might've been our streaker he just picked up.

Sarah & Todd says:that quote will be all over destruction montages tomorrow.

j3 says:"killer katrina"

j3 says:like "rocky raccoon"

j3 says:"sexy sadie"

j3 says:man, that satillite view is incredible.

Sarah & Todd says:Take it upstairs...great line

Sarah & Todd says:can you refer to law enforcement as "cops" on national news coverage?

Sarah & Todd says:overuse of the phrase "busting out"

Sarah & Todd says:and "swing it over here, Ted"

j3 says:hahaha...

Sarah & Todd says:this guy is just slang city!

j3 says:ted, ted...can you, ted...ted...

Sarah & Todd says:ted? ted?...are you there, Ted?

j3 says:yeah, i heard our local guy say "cops" and "bucks" instead of "police officer" and "dollars" the other day.

Sarah & Todd says:that's bad journalism

j3 says:yeah, "bucks" is awful.

j3 says:i was like, dude, act like you're not an amarillo anchorman.

j3 says:spanked

Sarah & Todd says:***spinning camera shot leading away from planet earth accompanied by screams of anguish from Ted***

Sarah & Todd says:"spanked"?

j3 says:hahaha...

Sarah & Todd

j3 says:little jog

Sarah & Todd says:thinaks mike

Sarah & Todd says:'bout 17

j3 says:17 mph?

Sarah & Todd says:this people are sissies!

Sarah & Todd says:he's full of it

Sarah & Todd

j3 says:that's not 17...

Sarah & Todd says:nothin' to sneeze at

j3 says:that's easily 40...

Sarah & Todd says:"what are the COPS sayin'?"

Sarah & Todd says:big wig police chief

Sarah & Todd says:hahhahahahahhaha

j3 says:street cops, man.

j3 says:haha...

Sarah & Todd says:street cops

j3 says:haha...that's so funny.

j3 says:dude, what's this guys name....

Sarah & Todd says:this guy just talked himself out of a job

j3 says:gotta record this name.

Sarah & Todd says:maybe maybe

j3 says:i smell geraldo's replacement.

Sarah & Todd says:ted? give me a number.

j3 says:pointing at the camera.

Sarah & Todd says:kid

j3 says:haha.

Sarah & Todd says:absolutely crazy

j3 says:cops ticked off.

Sarah & Todd says:cops ticked off

j3 says:stupid things...

Sarah & Todd says:people do stupid thing

j3 says:stupid people out here surfing.

Sarah & Todd says:orlando

j3 says:missed his name...orlando?

Sarah & Todd says:the blessed Orlando

Sarah & Todd says:never to be seen again

j3 says:hahaha...i hope not...i'd love to see him again.

j3 says:that was entertaining.

j3 says:mad entertaining.

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding...that guy's great!

j3 says:dude, what the? this guys' calling from jackson mississippi?

Sarah & Todd says:we gotta get Ted on camera

j3 says:that's like four hours inland.

Sarah & Todd says:can we call in a request to FoxNews?

j3 says:well, at least two...

j3 says:geez...building top photo amazing...

Sarah & Todd says:this guy's no more than 80 lbs soppin' wet.

Sarah & Todd says:bridge

j3 says:check out bridge...

j3 says:it's out...

j3 says:dude...insane...

Sarah & Todd says:just water

j3 says:hahah...

Sarah & Todd says:awesome!

j3 says:that's not good.

j3 says:i totally saved that image.

Sarah & Todd says:sweet

j3 says:keep watching...

j3 says:i'm going to prepare for an evening on the couch.

Sarah & Todd says:this is the "New Ahlins" guy

j3 says:haha...

j3 says:we gotta find a biloxi cam...

Sarah & Todd says:inundated

j3 says:i wonder if there is one.

Sarah & Todd says:go for it.

Sarah & Todd says:woww...parade

Sarah & Todd says:man...W got a tan!

j3 says:didn't see it.

j3 says:must've been a nice vacation.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah..."vacation"

Sarah & Todd says:ORLANDO!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah & Todd says:swing that baby that way, Ted

j3 says:i'm tellin you....this guy's getting more entertaining every time.

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding

Sarah & Todd says:well, Orlando...go secure it, moron

Sarah & Todd says:turn the damn light down, ted

j3 says:ananometer

Sarah & Todd says:10 mph

Sarah & Todd says:thanks for the glare ted

j3 says:it's because you're standing on the side of a building you twerp.

Sarah & Todd says:stupid

Sarah & Todd says:wow

Sarah & Todd says:that tree is comin down in the next 3 hours

j3 says:yeah, it is...

j3 says:oops, famous last words...

Sarah & Todd says:hunker down

Sarah & Todd says:shuck and jive

j3 says:they think this might not be as bad as some people first believed..

j3 says:i heard that.

Sarah & Todd says:now they're "officers"

j3 says:check with the cops in the streets, man...they know what's up.

Sarah & Todd says:givin' props to the producer...brownie points

Sarah & Todd says:busting out

j3 says:i'm going to check back two weeks from now on teh karaokecam...

Sarah & Todd says:"but we're stayin!"

Sarah & Todd says:cops

Sarah & Todd says:hahaha

j3 says:that's can watch drunk people sing karaoke all night.

Sarah & Todd says:haha

j3 says:parade's gettin pretty hairy...

j3 says:i'm capturing stills on parade...started at 1:00.

Sarah & Todd says:sweet

j3 says:parade's officially out.

j3 says:sorry, i mean bridge...

j3 says:no recovery there...although it looks like lights are back on.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah...but they'd have to have somebody wipe that thing off

j3 says:i'd like to see a tree on parade snap in half.

j3 says:hmm, pudding time...

j3 says:better now because in the morning it's diet time.

Sarah & Todd says:true

j3 says:david blaine on least here he is.

Sarah & Todd says:not

j3 says:okay...he just pulled a diamond out of some ladies wedding ring with his mouth...swallowed it and pushed it out of his eye.

Sarah & Todd says:holy crap...that guy's amazing

j3 says:now he's picking on glen rice with card tricks.

Sarah & Todd news commercial

Sarah & Todd says:tv sucks

j3 says:okay, he just tore a card in half and it caught on fire.

j3 says:hmm...

j3 says:he could make millions off of just doing tricks on a street corner.

j3 says:this guys just bought a three lottery tickets and david gave him a gold coin and told him to throw 2 of them away...

j3 says:dude scratches off the one in his hand and wins 1600 bucks...

j3 says:what the?

Sarah & Todd says:he needs to come do magic for me.

j3 says:hahaha...

j3 says:serious.

j3 says:oh yeah, puddin time.

Sarah & Todd says:hey, i think i'm gonna go to price is right on the 21st.

j3 says:walks like cosby to the kitchen.

j3 says:word?

j3 says:tell me more on the other side of puddin.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah...25 fuller students...1 guaranteed to get on the bidding row

Sarah & Todd says:New Ahlins

Sarah & Todd says:idiot...Biloxi is in MS.

j3 says:biloxi lousiana?

j3 says:haha...

j3 says:what the?

j3 says:that's weird...

j3 says:must be canadian

Sarah & Todd says:wow...did you see parade?

Sarah & Todd says:slow moving rape van on the street on the back.

Sarah & Todd says:blue flasher.

j3 says:ha

Sarah & Todd says:light that is.

j3 says:rjackson alabama...

j3 says:new york florida.

Sarah & Todd says:MS

j3 says:i know...

Sarah & Todd says:dilirium is setting in...kinda like the 2000 election

Sarah & Todd says:wowow...rape fan

Sarah & Todd says:van...sorry.

j3 says:ha

Sarah & Todd says:that came out wayyyyyy wrong

j3 says:i'm certainly not a rape fan.

Sarah & Todd says:nor am i

Sarah & Todd says:"thanks again for the kind thoughts"

Sarah & Todd says:"i really feel like thier serving a practical need here"

j3 says:haha...

j3 says:bring back orlando

j3 says:you know he's going to get progressively more hilarious during the evening.

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding...they need to fly him to the french quarter asap

j3 says:that'd be nice if someone set up a news van right infront of parade's camera

Sarah & Todd says:man...i don't know what we're gonna do if parade gets knocked out...i'll really feel empty inside

j3 says:i was just thinking that...

j3 says:like you're stranded...

j3 says:like you're in the middle of the storm.

j3 says:like this is the view from my periscope.

Sarah & Todd says:yeah...lost at sea

Sarah & Todd says:"but we are sure that you are screwed"

j3 says:i just want to see what's it's mounted on.

Sarah & Todd says:do you think these news people just sit there between breaks and make up cool ways to tease their coverage?

Sarah & Todd says:i think the only way we'll see it is if it shows up on camera...upside down

j3 says:yeah...

j3 says:that'd be rad for my timeline...

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding.

j3 says:here's the camera at 3:00...and it's facing the sky

j3 says:i want to have a photo right when it becomes a river.

Sarah & Todd says:man...getting nasty down there right now

Sarah & Todd says:hahaha

Sarah & Todd says:still can't get over teh bridge cam

Sarah & Todd says:ORLANDO!

j3 says:hell yeah.

j3 says:spanked.

Sarah & Todd says:what if a tornado came right down on top of him and sucked him right up

j3 says:swing it over that way, ted.

j2 says:i would miss him...i have to say i'd miss him.

Sarah & Todd says:ted...focus on me please

Sarah & Todd says:me too

j3 says:cop.

Sarah & Todd says:all eyes on me

j3 says:did you see that last shot...orlando flinching against the wind with his finger in his ear?

j3 says:that's how i'll remember him.

Sarah & Todd says:man...i hope that we see him more tonight

j3 says:did you see that hummer? what the?

Sarah & Todd says:yeah.

Sarah & Todd says:no kidding.

Sarah & Todd says:cane patrol

Sarah & Todd says:parade

j3 says:yeah, you were all: i hate this guy...

j3 says:i'm tellin you, orlando's the man...

j3 says:these other chumps don't know what's going on, man...

Sarah & Todd says:i didn't hate him, i just celebrated his "uniqueness"

j3 says:the cops know, man. alright, man?

Sarah & Todd says:wow...look at parade

Sarah & Todd says:we may lose her

Sarah & Todd says:only 20000 in the SuperDome? you gotta get more than that.

Sarah & Todd says:can you imagine the security risks at the superdome?

j3 says:oh you don't know.

j3 says:i feel like our parade camera is the best kept secret...

Sarah & Todd says:"you've been through hurricanes, you konw how it goes"

Sarah & Todd should call fox

j3 says:especially after seeing this crappy pixelation.

j3says:i just sent like three emails into fox news.

j3 says:with the link to parade...we're taking her worldwide...

Sarah & Todd says:cmon little parade...let's show em what we got

j3 says:oh, i thought they were going to cut to parade.

j3 says:i signed it j3

Sarah & Todd says:nicej3 says:oh to hear them say j3 on fox news.

j3 says:power outage at parade...that bright light's gone.

Sarah & Todd says:man...i've got a feeling that the next time we get a good hurricane, we're going to hear, "and now let's take it out to our Fox Senior Weather Correspondant...the Amazing Orlando"

Sarah & Todd says:owwow...parade

j3 says:hunker down.

j3 says:i say bring back orlando whenever.

j3 says:

j3 says:that's our location.

j3 says:and that light is probably the intersection of napoleon and st. charles.

.j3 says:dude, if i was on...i'd be freakin stoked...

j3 says:i'd be like, "yo wassup, fox...put orlando on, put orlando on!"

Sarah & Todd says:"you've seen weather occurences before...unlike the rest of us who pretty much never see the weather do anything"

Sarah & Todd says:orlando in the hizzy!

Sarah & Todd says:impending death

j3 says:i wish i knew someone down in NO so i could get them to wipe off the camera.

Sarah & Todd says:yes!

j3 says:i love that rain in the eyes look.

Sarah & Todd says:one eye open

Sarah & Todd says:just focus on teh light

j3 says:couple of billies...

j3 says:i really loved his "here are the true heroes" thing when he turned the camera on his crew...

Sarah & Todd says:yum yum

j3 says:that was so awkward because they were just standing there all like, "orlando, what the hell are you doin?"

j3 says:erin just came out..."what are you doiin?"

j3 says:uh, what i said i was gonna do.

j3says:parade still has all this footage beat.

Sarah & Todd says:yep

j3 says:i'm on the couch now.

j3 says:laying down with a pillow.

j3 says:dude, i'm going to leave my notification sound on, but i'm going ot close my eyes for a second...let me know if you see anything crazy hapen

Sarah & Todd says:aight

j3 says:i gotta get just a few moment's of sleep.

Sarah & Todd says:i may fade here in a few.

Sarah & Todd says:but i'll let you know first

j3 says:this thing is like a foot from my head .

j3 says:aight.

Sarah & Todd says:whoha...check that rain

j3 says:yeah...

Sarah & Todd says:nice

j3 says:poweroutage at parade.

Sarah & Todd says:oh man.

Sarah & Todd says:coming back on it looks like

Sarah & Todd says:woha...did you see that?

Sarah & Todd says:lightening and then nothing

j3 says:wild.

Sarah & Todd says:did you get to see it?

Sarah & Todd says:that was awesoem.

j3 says:yep.

j3 says:i was just about to close my eyes.

Sarah & Todd says:uh

Sarah & Todd says:uh

Sarah & Todd says:uh

Sarah & Todd says:uh

Sarah & Todd says:uh

Sarah & Todd says:um

Sarah & Todd says:uhj

j3 says:uh.

Sarah & Todd says:uh

Sarah & Todd says:alright dude, i've gotta bail. i can't go anymore.

Sarah & Todd says:too tired from the weekend to stay up anymore

Sarah & Todd says:i'll be checking back in the morning though

Sarah & Todd says:talk at you tomorrow. it's been real and it's been fun, and it's even been real fun. laters

Sarah & Todd says:holy crap...we're getting movement on the parade cam

Sarah & Todd says:the cam is moving

Sarah & Todd says:you're totally out aren't you

Sarah & Todd says:well, some people just weren't cut out for the road.

Saturday, August 27, 2005


Yes, that's "Live Long and Prosper" as in Star Trek as in Star TRAK, Pharrell's production outfit, however, I intended for Pharrell to do it with me. He did not. In fact, he hit me with the "Hey, it's J3!" finger point right back at me. I guess he's been to THEROOTDOWN before. So I look like the moron, StarTrek ubergeek throwing the \\//, Definitely not one of the greater moments in rap hand history.

So I'm sittin here watching High Tension, dude, what an intense film. If you want some serious blood and violence, check this one out. It will not disappoint. Freaking brutal. Not much to the story line except the typical hunter becomes the hunted. Weapons to look out for: a straight razor, a fence post wrapped in barbed wire, an axe, a kitchen knife, a shotgun, a skil saw, and, (check this) a china cabinet (oh yeah, believe it). Oh wait, just made it to the twist in the story. So there's a twist. Man, and a lot more blood. Geez, that's an insane amount of blood. This scene must have been a mess to clean up. Not for the faint-hearted, for sure.

Alright, I'm going to work....that's right...on a Saturday. Sucks, but it's that time of year. Everyone go out to your local Hastings on Tuesday and pick up that new Kanye record. It's gonna be hot.

Sorry I've been out of commission for so long. Take care.

Saturday, August 06, 2005


So it's Thursday night, the second game of our double header in company league softball. We're all a little irritable because we got run-ruled pretty severely in our first game (something that hasn't happened in quite some time) and had an hour between games to drink a couple of cold ones and reflect on our first loss of the season. I opted for dinner with my mother and wife because I hadn't eaten yet. I return to my rowdy teammates ready to dismantle this team on the other side of the infield. Everything started out as we would've wanted it to. We hit well, ran well, got an early lead, 8-2 after two innings of play. I was in the DH spot so my play was limited, but I was ready for whatever. I go up in my first at-bat and line a shot down to third base and reach base safely. My second time up, with the score 8-4, I come to the plate and as I step into the batter's box, I hear a mumble from behind me, "Batter's out." I play like I didn't hear it. Certainly, he wasn't talking to me. He returns louder, "Batter's out," to which I snap my head around and look at the five year old umpire for an explanation. He then says, "We asked you before the game to remove any jewelry," he said motioning to his wrist. I look at my wrist and notice the following:

I've been wearing this wristband to support my brother's Cubbies since the beginning of the MLB season and wore it to every game in our early season AND had worn it to the plate during my first at-bat of this ballgame and NOT ONCE was I called on it. I stare at the chump thinking to myself that he has to be kidding and I reply quickly with, "I wore this the entire first game that YOU called and you made no mention in my first at-bat of this game," to which he replied, "I didn't see it." Short of any fancy comeback (and relatively PG because of the family that was in attendance) I shout back to him as I walk back to the dugout, "Go back to calling tee-ball, jerkoff!" My comment received little rebuttal, but leave it my teammates to stir it up. Walking back in after the third out, my teammate, we'll call him "Brian" walks right in front of the homeplate umpire and yells to the dugout, "Don't worry, Jeff. If there's one thing I've learned, it's you can't argue with a ten year-old." The umpire snaps to his feet and glares at "Brian" as he enters the dugout. The fuse has been lit for what would become an explosive situation.

Now, what I don't get, is that my quarter-inch wristbands are a distraction to a fool pitching a 10 mph, underhanded ball with an 8 foot arc, but Manny's wristbands would not be considered a distraction at all to a guy hurling 90 mph fastballs:

It's insane. Well, regardless, my wristband, it appears was the downfall of the civilized world.

The game was terribly called on both sides of the field, but decisively against us. EVERYTHING was called: runner interference, not tagging up on a fly ball, double-plays incorrectly called "safe", obvious "balls" being called "strikes" and ending at-bats. It was horrible. After a close call at first base, I hear, we'll call him "David", in a complete uproar, completely going off at the field ump. "Call the game! Call the game! You've been missing calls all night!" The ump kept replying, "Do you wanna get kicked out? Do you wanna get kicked out?" at which point I yell to "David" from the third base line to shut up and get in the dugout.

"David" walks out to the ump with his finger pointing directly between the eyes of the ump and says, "SHUT UP AND CALL THE GAME!" which left a hush amongst teammates and spectators. Complete hilarity. And after all of this, the UMP DIDN'T HAVE THE BALLS TO KICK "DAVID" OUT! Amazing. Anyhow, it begins to pour rain with about ten minutes left in the game. We were in the field when it started and it's BRUTAL playing the field in the rain and our opponents began mounting a serious comeback making it 14-12 with us in the lead--a little too close for comfort. After a brief rain delay and everything in our favor as the home team, we try and run the clock down as it ticked under three minutes. I went up and took as many pitches as I could but he struck me out looking in three straight pitches, just my luck. Of course, only one of those pitches was correctly called. I'm telling you, at this point the homeplate ump:

wanted to see us lose no matter what the cost. And his wish would be granted. In the top of the inning, our opponents would hang on four runs to take the lead 16-14--an incredible comeback--you gotta hand it to them. It wasn't just the umps' calls. But the game came to the end on a horriible call at first base with "Brian" diving back to the base after a snagged line drive by the third basemen. "Brian" was basically lying on the base after a head-first slide when the ball arrived to this base. Immediately, without hesitation, the field ump emphatically yells "yer out!" "Brian" jumps to his feet and goes off the radar. He starts by digging into the field ump and then the field ump signals to the homeplate ump (see above) because of "Brian"'s appeal. Well, if anyone's gonna call "Brian" out, without a doubt, it's the homeplate ump. Sure enough, with his voice cracking and tears in his eyes, he signals "out". "Brian" goes crazy. In a hail of "you sucks!" and "you're a little b**ch!", "Brian" stomps through the dugout, grabbing his gear and heading to the parking lot. The umps were expecting a fistfight. During the rain delay, they called over some of their buddies from the nearby fields to help walk them to their cars after the game. It was insane.

The next day, the emails at work began to circulate. "Brian" began it by offering an apology to everyone on the team. In no more than thirty minutes, we filed a complaint with the league about the umps, found their addresses and, after someone google'd their names, discovered that the field ump was USSSA ump of the year for 2003 and one of our players was distant family through marriage to the homeplate ump and didn't recognize him with a hat on.

Todd, I'm holding you and your Cubbies personally responsible for what could've been a much uglier moment in Office League Softball history. Luckily, it didn't go there.

As my mother, who was witness to all chaos, looking for something to say, could only offer the following: "Well, that game had all the elements."

It certainly did. Our record stands at 2-2.