Tuesday, September 23, 2008


It's an absolute truth that my mix is the ultimate Cypress mix. It's about an hour deep right now and we've already featured Sly and Family Stone, Kool and the Gang, Black Sabbath, Dusty Springfield, Jimmy McGriff, the Bar Kays, Muddy Waters and, who else, Mandrill. You ain't ready. You ain't ready. Dawg, you just ain't ready. You need to go back to school.

My dogs killed a possum. Like, not just killed it, but pulled it apart. I thought, at first, that it was just playing possum which is probably the worst defense mechanism in the world. Just play dead? Really, if you play dead, two beagles are gonna eat you alive, bro. My wife walks out to see this image.

Except with, of course, tons of blood and maybe a partially severed arm or leg. It's really disgusting. I ain't never seen a possum in this town and then I come across two in my backyard. One that's squirming making his last plead and then another that's ripped to shreds. For such mean assholes, they really find themselves on the dying end of a fight alot. Here's to the extinction of the possum and I really have no problem saying so. They're rats that are really skilled at climbing trees and dying.

The closed Yankee Stadium. Awesome. Can't really find anyone who is gonna miss that toilet bowl...eh-hmm, Yankee fans included. Good for the organization that they closed this year or they wouldn't have had any reason for all that great archived footage of Yankees winning championships because they ain't gonna do it this year. I guess that Giambi moustache and the panties that the whole clubhouse was wearing didn't really pan out. That sucks. If you're gonna wear some dude's thong, you better win a championship. There'll be plenty of time for A-Rod to exercise his new-found freedom as a single man...let's face it, the dude's not a good team player and is not known for his consistency. She should've seen it coming from his play on the field.

A-Rod getting his adultery on.

Tonight the Red Sox beat Cliff Lee and the Cleveland Indians to punch their tickets to the playoffs and eliminating the Yankees from the playoffs for the first time in, geez, I don't know, my lifetime. End of the dynasty? Hell, I was saying that years ago. They haven't posted a championship in more than eight years and, with 26 championships to their name, they're at a rate of, say, one championship every four years so this is clearly a drought. Not sure if this the year for the Sox. I'd be lying if I said it'd be easy. Even if we clear the AL, the Cubs are playing scary baseball. Secretly (but not so much), I'm pulling for the Cubbies. And yes, Bro Bro, we're going to Chicago if what's supposed to happen happens.

The coffee thing is going well. I'm doing about 5-7 cups a morning. That's cups, not mugs. One fairly standard mug holds about 2.5 cups. So, I'm around two to three mugs a morning. It sucks except for the creepier hallucinations of twenty miniature Bette Midlers doing high kicks on desk tops.

Lovely wife wants to do another garage sale. I found out my grandfather was not a big fan of garage sales. Maybe it runs in the family. I just don't like being told what my memories are worth. Seems a little unfair.

Austin's favorite The Lions are coming to the Yellow with the Toadies. Must check it out on the strong recommendations of Leroy, Dale and Sarah. I gotta tell you, folks, no one knows of them in the Yellow so hopefully they've come prepared to blow the place up. Looking forward to it nonetheless.

Man, we're just gonna turn this thing on random so I can get a week's worth of garbage out of my head: listened to David's 45's up at work on Friday. There was some dope stuff in there--most notably a 45 from the band Smokestack...ill ill ill. Kris, I ain't got no large, you're gonna have to shrink that XL or just cut off two inches of the bottom and the sleeves. Murs is releasing a record on Warner Brothers. That dude's gotta hustle, geez. MF Doom is releasing a record this month. Oh glory be! I moving to my own desk up at work. It'll be a little lonely, but it'll give me more room for all of my garbage. I've bought a lot of vinyl lately. Just the other night, I bought Jeru the Damaja and Vampire Weekend. Both very enjoyable. Texas Tech's team whooped the crap out of UMass this weekend in Lubbock. I was in attendance with Danny. And apparently, there's no problem with drinking on campus anymore because tailgating is huge in Lubbock now. In fact, we almost had to park in Littlefield because there were more people just partying in the parking lots than actually going to the game. Lubbock, just so you know, is still dry meaning, for those city folks, you can't buy beer within city limits. But you can drink it in public. Fall is upon us. Ah, I love fall. College football, championship baseball, holidays, cold weather, condensation, morning jogs without sweating, no flies, mosquitos, no worrying about vinyl warping in the car...it's truly pale ale season. Roundhouse beat Newschannel 10 last week to secure a first-round bye in the tournament on Thursday night. Yeah, we're your heroes. Admit it. Wear those Roundhouse jerseys with pride, pupils, it's playoff season. Speaking of, I'm a lazy loser because I haven't secured the Root Down shirts. Still working on that. Danny has requested the following model. I couldn't find any cheap hoodies on the market. Maybe next time.

Had a guy rev his engine at me the other day on my bike waiting at a light. I was thinking how gangsta it would be to hop off my bike, turn around and just lift the bike and throw it on his hood and then stand there like "what, what," then walk away. I just shaved about two months of facial hair off my face in anticipation of the Sox clinching a playoff birth (I like spelling it like "birth" as opposed to "berth" because of how it looks). New TV on the Radio came out today. I love them. I'm out of deodarant. Don't tell anyone--I'm wearing my lovely wife's. Because I know you're interested, I'm reading the Zombie Survival Guide on the can--it's really good reading. I'm ready to defend myself against the undead on land, sea and, yes, sky. B'lee dat. I need to see what my Oklahoma musician family us up to. You want a story line, Cubs and Red Sox in the World Series. Or Dodgers and Red Sox in the Series and it goes seven games and Jason Bay wins the championship for the Sox in a 9th inning RBI single off the Green Monster that's misplayed by Manny Ramirez in front of Red Sox Nation allowing the winning score to run. It's not that I'm spiteful. It's just a good storyline. Jason Bay strikes out a lot. So does Jed Lowrie. Woudl really love to win the division on a sweep of the Yankees. Eh, enough baseball talk. I really miss Lubbock and I don't mind saying so. I need to mow the lawn. I'm getting tired. I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry I don't write in the mornings anymore. I'm looking to change that if I could just finish this Cypress mix. I work on it about twenty minutes at a time. I'm probably too old to listen to Cypress Hill...wait, nah I ain't. I'll decide when I'm too old for hip hop and it ain't yet.

If you wanna try me, come and get it, ese.

1 comment:

sarahsmile3 said...

Lions performances are known for causing heart attacks, stroke, and excessive use of the rock hand. Pregnant women, children, the elderly, and country music fans should avoid attending.

The lead singer sweats like a crack junkie stuck detox. It's so much sweat, so fast that you are looking at him trying to find out where the tubes are hidden under his shirt.