IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME...MY APOLOGIES...

Man, time's really passed since I last posted. And this is more of a post to cover my tail from someone saying, "You never post anything anymore."

When we last saw j3, he was about to take off for Red River, New Mexico for a lovely weekend off with his lovely wife and....wait, wait, wait...no, I got bit by a dog. BUT, I did go to Red River for a weekend and it was a delight. I have a few pictures that I'll share at a later time (2006).

Sawx got beat by the other Sox. I can't remember the color of the Sox because, well, it only took the minimum 3 games. That's right, a sweep. So my beloved Red Sox, in the heroic title defense of baseball's world champions, quite frankly, tucked their tail and played dead. It's alright though. I lost my Jebediah beard which was getting long and itchy. Now I'm cleanly shaven and thinning.

I hit a plateau in my diet. I'm about 212-215. I celebrated by having a six-pack of Oreos. They were good. Oh wait, you're not supposed to celebrate a plateau in your diet. Goal still stands at 200-205 and hover around there until I die of natural causes at 88 years old.

Back to sports news, those Houston Astros just might have something going. They're now 6 outs away from going to their first World Series. In fact, I'll have to check the Sports Almanac, but I think this is the first appearance for a Texas baseball team in the World Series. Man, if we could get the Cowboys to "cowboy up" and win a championship and get the Spurs to lock down another championship, Texas will once again prove it's dominance over the Union.

Saddam's trial began. Why don't I care? Not sure. You'd think this would be the "Trial of the Century," but it just seems weird filing "charges" against a tyrant. It's like, "So, Lucifer, you've been a bad boy." I heard that whatever they decided to charge him with was chosen because, "it would be the easiest to convict him of." Don't accuse me of Saddampathy, but that hardly seems fair. Geez, I might get the Spectacular shut down for such a comment. Back to that stupid dog that bit me on the ankle.

He ain't around no more. Gone. Haven't seen him since. And I'm glad.

Wanna kill a few brain cells? Try staining your floor. Holy cow, man. I think I reduced my brain capacity by 30% last night staining our dining room floor. We decided to take on the project because, well, it's asthetically more appealing and improves the property drastically for resale. Also, I was tired of looking at the puppy pee stains that, no matter how much ammonia and scrubbing, never seemed to go away. But, let me tell you, if you're thinking of taking on your floors, respect the drum sander. If not, that ferocious metal monster will eat you alive. Oh, and always make sure your sander has an "off" switch that actually works or it will not only eat you alive, but it'll eat your pet too.

Astros are three outs away with a four-run lead. Pretty comfortable circumstances. Man, they're wrecking Busch stadium after the Cardinals lose tonight. Kinda sad. Wrecking ball will swing on a losing note. Oh well. Sorry Dad, Grandad, Todd. I can't pull for the Cards after they tried to take the Sawx's World Championship away from them. Of course, they didn't try too hard. I mean, we did sweep them. I guess once the Red Sox won their first World Championship in 86 years at Busch Stadium, someone said, "You know, I never liked this piece of crap stadium anyway. Let's build a new one." And everyone agreed. Emphatically.

Oh, in other sports news (this is where everyone thinks that all I so is watch sports), the Texas Tech Red Raiders football team (my alma mater) have charged all the way to #8 in the nation which is simply incredible. Their offense is one of the most powerful in the states and they take it into Austin against the #2 team in the nation, the Longhorns. No matter what happens, really, I'll be happy, but I'm cheering for a win. #8 in the nation, are you kidding me?

Astros just took it. Congrats to the Astros. God knows Biggio and Bags definitely deserve it. Dude, they were playing when I was but a tike collecting baseball cards. I don't think there's one black guy on that team. Just noticed that. Not that it matters. Just a bunch of cornfed whiteboys.

Now, we need Astro to beat the snot outta the other Sox. I wanna see Clemens mow 'em down. Maybe just chunk a fastball at Ozzie in the dugout "mistakenly."

That's it for now. I gotta get out of these fumes or I'm not going to be able to make it outta bed in the morning.

Try looking at this album cover without smiling.