FAREWELL, JOHNNY. DON'T GET YOUR BIG HEAD GET CAUGHT IN THE DOOR ON THE WAY OUT.

As some of you know, beloved idiot Johnny Damon (aka Johnny Nitro, Captain Caveman) apparently can be bought out. After proclaiming his wishes to stay in Boston with the Sawx at the end of last season, he jumped ship, put on the pinstripes and now he's playing for this fool.

Georgie Poo (under his medication)

Now, I don't wanna bash on him too hard because he was instrumental in our World Championship, however, going to the Spanks is unexcusable. He could say, "I'm tired of the Sox, I hate who I have to take the field with everyday, the management sucks and I'm going to play for the Mariners," and it would've meant nothing, but Johnny (being the mediahog he is and always wanting to make a spectacle) he ceremoniously and mockingly rubs the relocation in the face of Red Sox Nation--jokingly calling a press conference to have his locks of hair trimmed with garden shears while the big "boss" and future teammates look on. How lame. And, to cap it off, Johnny Damon's father, in an act of sheer stupidity says to a member of the New York Daily News:

"Mark it down: It's going to be another Babe Ruth. They (Red Sox) sent Johnny off just like they sent off Babe Ruth. It's going to be another big, big mistake. They made the biggest mistake of their lives." Looks like Johnny has the same problem his father has--he can't keep his mouth shut and says something completely idiotic.

Well, there's a new centerfielder in town: Coco Crisp. 6 years younger with almost identical stats, a fraction of the ego and will play for almost $10 million less a year. So here's to Coco, Johnny.

Now let's see this Babe Ruth power that we never saw at Fenway, twirp.