Thursday, December 24, 2009


Start a family. Visit a chiropractor. Recycle. No added salt to anything for three months straight. Help out with five local missions or outreaches. Become fully knowledgeable on the entire career of John Coltrane. Know when to stop.Eliminate all credit card debt. Run the Warrior Dash in 45 minutes. Get my 10-footer back. Kools said he's a formidable opponent. Become fully knowledgeable in the recordings and biography of Charles Mingus.

Enjoy as much 1990 hip hop as possible and DON'T listen to Fear of a Black Planet (the greatest hip hop record ever made) until March 20th. Join a Sunday school class. Two cups of coffee daily. No more. Become an unapologetic and absolute 1990 hip hop snob. Begin riding a bike, seriously. Begin planning 10th anniversary. Cook ribs and use only dry rub. Finish with homemade sauce. Ween off of pale ales and into hefeweizens. Work on four mixes: Beatlemaniaddendum, Music to Flee a Zombie Invasion By, Boom Bap Origins and Gangsta Boogie Remastered. Another full month of no sugar. January is the obvious month. Run 10 miles a week. Buy a pair of dress shoes that cost more than $30. Watch one western a month and only two featuring John Wayne.

Take off another full week for vacation aiming to hit up Colorado and Idaho. Ski Waterfall at Wolf Creek. Turn Tucker and Jackson into the meanest walking dogs. No barking. One soda a month. Must be 20 ounces or less. No ice. Donate to net five less pairs of sneakers. Get a joke printed in Readers' Digest. Go to a concert. Go to a nice restaurant and order fish without even blinking. And not shrimp. Go to Juarez and build another house. Scope out another marathon...but don't start training for one. Read three books. Do the Polar Bear Plunge in Couer d Alene, ID on New Years, 2011.

Put your money where your mouth is and eat Krispy Kreme donuts exclusively realizing that the Yellow doesn't have a Krispy Kreme. Racquetball twice a week with my lovely wife. Own a suit you feel comfortable in. And look damn good in. Smile more and be mindful of how others view you. Not just how you view yourself. Write something worthy of getting printed in a periodical. Listen to more Dylan. See a tornado. Take Boggs out to an empty parking lot covered in snow and do two donuts. He's had a hard year and deserves it. Here's to 2010. Finally, a year twice divisible by itself. It's been 201 years since the last one. Stay up, 2009. It's been glorious.


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