Real men ride slow and low
The key to a good night sleep is going to YouTube.com and searching "taser," "tased" or "tasing," watch three videos and drink a 20 oz bottle of water. I'm convinced this the trick. Try it and tell me it ain't the best way to end the day. I challenge you.
My beloved Sox are officially now out of playoff contention. They made it easy this year, they just quit. Oh well. The other day when I was home sick (not "homesick") I watched game four from the 2004 ALCS--I think that DVD set will see me through the playoffs...thanks Chrissy.
That's right, I got sick. Sucks. I never get sick because I have an immune system of the toughest iron and any family member can attest to the marvelous immune setup that those of our geneology are equipped with. Honestly, sometimes it still amazes me, but this time a stupid little cold laid me out. Lucky to only miss about 7 hours of work. Too busy to get sick.
The other night I pledged to give $10 to a police organization--the state troopers. I really feel it's noble of me considering I don't really like cops. That's not really true. I respect them. I suppose you can respect but not like. Kinda like a boss, disease and grizzly bears. My wife's giving me hell, calling me a "sucker." I got a sticker for my back bumper that reads pretty simply "DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE." Maybe I'll put it on after I get ripped this weekend. Kidding, folks.
Really on a TV on the Radio kick lately. Geez, they rock so freakin hard. Amazing stuff. I really encourage all of you to go out and buy Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes. Incredible work.
Make sure you get your spinach.
Went to sing karaoke last weekend. Forgot how fun it is except for punk ass DJ's who play favorites. So long as you keep the beers coming, it makes it a little more tolerable watching white trash who couldn't carry a tune if it came in duffle bag. And there's always some guy who attempts to "rap"--yeah, homeboy, a little harder than you originally thought, huh? Sticking to singing George Strait, it's not only in your range as a singer, but the tempo's a little easier to hang with.
I love my dog for many reasons. Mainly because he's a super beagle and there's only a few of his type, size and temper in this world. The other reason is the other day when we were at PetSmart, he took the biggest crap in the aisle like a col' pimp. We were just walking around, sniffing every item on the shelf and the leftover urine from other dogs and he goes into his squat and just kills it. I suppose some dogs mark their territory with urine, but Jax doesn't play around. He craps on it. He left a pile about six inches tall and walked off like, "Whaddup, now?" Yes, I cleaned it up. Nothing gets the party going like a heaping warm handful of poo.
Pink Floyd's "Fearless" has got to be one of the greatest songs ever recorded.
Speaking of music, I caught a little flack on the Top 20 List. Some people contested that Fear of a Black Planet was not PE's best record. Others slammed me on not including Nas. Some thought the omission of Biggie, Tupac and Boogie Down Productions indicated holes in the list. Here's the deal: I rank albums, not rappers. Nas is a great rapper, but I fail to see the genius in Illmatic. It's one of those albums that, in most cases, is guaranteed a position. I don't believe in that. First off, albums have both historical and personal attachments--artists don't. Q-Tip and Phife are not the greatest rappers ever, but they made a great album. In fact, B-Real and Cypress Hill would never be mentioned amongst the greatest, but Black Sunday or their self-titled record (Angry Tim) would. Pharaohe Monch is a great emcee, but the dude has one mediocre album under his belt (not counting Organized Konfusion). I like Ludacris, but I can't listen to one full album. KMD's Mr. Hood is listenable from beginning to end. I like albums. We can come up with a greatest emcee list some other time. And I won't ever take back putting Black Planet on top. Listen to it again--you'll hear what I mean. And, dude, a huge gas face goes to All Music Guide for giving Mr. Hood two stars--a huge shot to their credibility there. To call it an oversight would be too forgiving. Never buy another All Music Guide again. They ain't knowing what they're talking about.
Wondering if I'm going to make my triumphant return to SXSW this year. I might. Depends on who is lined up to appear. I gotta have hip hop. Those smelly, skinny indie rock bands just don't cut it. Give me a getdown and I'm there.
Whoa--watched a great movie this weekend (thanks to Jacko). The Devil and Daniel Johnston...never knew too much about the guy, but the documentary is phenomenal. You don't have to be a fan of his music or music in general to appreciate it. j3 approved. Pick it up at your local rental facility.
Bill Clinton has a mean streak, huh? Wow. Most saxaphonists have short tempers. I'm surprised it didn't rear its ugly head during his presidency. Maybe that's because he wasn't doing much except for hitting on interns.
Still waiting on clarification of what the state department is. Please, someone help me out.
Haven't given blood in a while. I'm not sure why that occurs to me right now. Maybe because I'm feeling a little bloated. I don't approve blood donation as a valid form of dieting. The system will only allow you to donate once every 60 days so that's about three pounds every 60 days. You'd fair better with crystal meth.
Danny (City Fence) recorded another track. That's right, dude's a rapper. I gave him some honest opinions and have yet to hear back from him. Must have pissed him off. That certainly wasn't my intention. Danny, holla atcha boy.
Speaking of rappers, ya'll need to get with Jean Grae. She's the truth and she wrecks it on the mic. Girl got signed to Atlantic and their sitting on her album for some odd reason. Release it already. She ain't gonna get any more exposure sitting on a shelf. Stop killin careers of talented artists while your promising soundscan. She just needs to be heard. Stop shooting for radio, late night talk show appearances. She spits fire and all you need to do is get it out there and move onto the next James Blunt record. You almost wrecked Apathy's career and got disappointed with Little Brother's sales. If you want to pick up unheard-of artists, don't expect a number one record.
Jean Grae kills it.
Alright, it's about Taser Time. You all be good. About to land a new house, but we'll wait until it's written in blood. Folks, that's your Tuesday night update. I'm j3 and I'm out like Lance Bass. Wait a sec, uh, I'm going to bed.