Well, Angry Tim and I visited the wonderful Hill Country on Wednesday on some business. We didn't have the rapping flight attendant. Both of us were kinda bummed. You kinda feel bad for a guy with a schtick like that because you know, he can never not do it from here on. If he just wanted to do the instructions normal, someone would be yelling at him, "C'mon man, I came here to see your ass rap! So rap!" If I met him, I'd want him to rap everything.
Like when he came by and asked me what I wanted to drink, "Sir, coffee, water, cocktail?" I'd just say to him, "Try it again, homie." He'd stand there dumbfounded and then I'd just say, "I need you to rap it, dude." Then I'd start beatboxing for him. That's what I'd do if I met the rapping flight attendant.
I almost didn't make it anywhere because my license was expired. Yep, expired more than a month ago. How in the hell am I supposed to remember that? I get a tetanus more often than I need to renew my license. I was in the security line at the Yellow airport and the woman's looking at my license and she said, "I'll let you board even though your license is expired." I laugh at her like she's joking. I then look at it and sure as sure is, it's expired.
So, how am I going to get a rental in Austin? I walk up to the counter and hand my confirmation and driver's license over to the man. He then says, moments later, "Okay, all I need from you is a written statement saying that you'll bring the car back by 6:00 and a valid driver's license." Confirming what I heard, I reply with, "So just a written statement saying I'll bring it back? Like I just write it out on a piece of paper?" He nods. "Okay, I can do that and, uh, you have my license." He says, "Yeah, I need a valid driver's license." I say, "Uh, valid? That's the only license I have, bro." He then tells me what I already know. "The computer didn't accept it because it's expired." Lucky I had Angry Tim there.
As our punishment, they rented us a pearl white PT Cruiser. I swear there are more PT Cruiser's on rental lots than in the garages of America. Nothing absolutely screams "the cool" like flying down the highway in a PT Cruiser.
Tulia, Texas made CNN Headline News this morning because some nincompoop got caught in flash flood waters. The anchor called it two-LEE-uh. It's actually, TUL-ya.
How is it that Wolf is still getting snow? They're expected to get another 20 inches today through tomorrow on top of the 16 that they got two days ago. I wish I lived in the mountains.
Back to the traveling adventures from Wednesday. While we were on board in Dallas, I saw the great Craig James from ESPN's college football broadcasts. I think he dyed his hair. I couldn't think of his name for the life of me. Pretty sharp dresser.I really don't like airports. People are so smug in airports. Everyone dresses like they're going to a formal and make sure they're recognized as someone important so everyone's either banging on a laptop, talking on a phone or walking around talking into one of those Bluetooth headsets. I just sit there and look at the floor. Apparently, though, I'm not as creepy as I used to be because people will actually sit next to me in an empty seat on the plane. I should really grow my terrorist beard back. Creepy comes in handy when you're on a plane. Not when you're looking for a date, but definitely when you're on a plane.
Got locked out of the exit row again. If there's one thing that absolutely pisses me off it's that cat that gets to the exit row before you and he's no more than a buck-twenty and five feet tall. He sits there like he doesn't see your six-foot plus ass walking down the aisle. Like he won't even make eye contact with you. Dude, if you got balls enough to take the most comfortable seat in the plane away from a person who, physically, more deserving than you, I'd be ready to defend it. Cat wouldn't even look at me. He just sat there looking out of the window. Punk. I wouldn't have even trusted this dweeb to be able to open the exit door with his stick arms. We would've all died.
Remember how to exit a plane in the case of emergency. Man, what I would give to do this on a slide out of the side of the plane. I'm just wondering how in the hell you get that much speed to launch like that.
Oh yeah, I guess you're pushed as we see in this image...personally one of my favorite images in the history of emergency instructions on planes.
I also love the disclaimer at the bottom about the color of the slide like if you saw this image without the disclaimer, there would be apprehension if you were looking at a yellow slide. "I don't know, honey. This picture shows it to be grey in color...not yellow. Let's die instead." Apparently, this man is exiting out of the "white" side of the plane. What's up with racist planes? I thought our society had finally moved past this sort of stuff.
ALIENATING MUSIC DISCUSSION WARNING: Went to Waterloo and bought an armful of vinyl. Jimmy Smith, Cannonball Adderley, Funkadelic, Yesterday's New Quintet and Rahsaan Roland Kirk. That's an arsenal of vinyl that you just don't want to play with. We then went next door and enjoyed a pint of ale at the Icehouse. I tell you want, that's a very positive music purchasing experience. I think that every music purchase should be followed by a beer. Love Waterloo. Don't really like the staff. It's alright, though, because they don't help you anyway. They just stay out of your way or avoid you like you're overcome with some horrible disease. When I was paying out, the girl asked me if I needed a bag. You would've thought I asked to dump eighty barrels of toxic chemicals into Lady Bird Lake. Militant greeners who wear dark denim with really small t-shirts: that's the Austin experience. Oh, and apparently body odor is too. Dale and Sarah, no offense to you. You all wear proper fitting clothing and smell good. I think. Can't touch their vinyl offering in Texas though. Except, Pirahna Records in Round Rock had three copies of De La Soul is Dead on vinyl. Angry Tim took one of his hands. I've never seen three copies of that record in one place. Impressive.
Roundhouse got rained out last night. Ugh. I love playing me some Roundhouse softball. Hate it when it gets rained out. I'm with the rest of the team. I feel like Mother Nature's got something against us because every Thursday, it seems, the weather goes south on us. Last night, it was tornados and ping pong ball-sized hail. Can someone give me the exact difference in size between a ping pong ball and a golf ball? I was hearing both reports in fact some hail that was between golf ball and ping pong ball. I thought they were close enough in size that it's either one or the other, but not between.
Spanks lost their first game in the new $1.5 billion dollar-Yankees Stadium. Their bullpen blew a 1-1 game in the seventh losing the game to the Cleveland Indians (who had two wins coming in), 10-2. Awesome stuff.
It's Friday and, oddly, I wish I had a couple of more days this week of work. I'm so behind. Brutal stuff.