Well, I gotta say, if the Spanks want to spend $28 million for Roger Clemens and his 1-3 record and 5.32 ERA, it's gonna make it really easy for the Sox. Here, we see Roger behind the controls of a team going down. Notice the calm expression on his face. That's because, win or lose, dude's gonna get paid. Way I see it, he's still a Red Sock. I mean, this is an ambush that not even I could've predicted. Dude's a col' snake. Spanks are in third place in the division and 11 games back entering play today. Not saying it's impossible, but when their knight in shining armor rolls over and pees himself, we'll put it this way, I'm sleeping really well these days. Roger that!
I see my boy Diddy's gotta new group he's working on. It will be crap. It will be garbage. It will sell 300,000 units first week and proving, once again, that if you release nothing, they'll buy anything. The releases are starting to come from the industry, but it appears to be too much too late. I mean, there's a UGK record still coming somewhere, a new Kanye, a new 50 Cent just in time for when everyone's dropping $60 on Halo and Madden releases. And there's rumors that Eminem will have project coming--right in time for when everyone's getting iPods for Christmas. That's some fantastic planning there. Let's release projects when no one has any cash left to spend. Well, a releases that's actually out and rocks the balls off a bull is the new White Stripes record. Icky Thump is quite possibly the most solid White Stripes record to date as, from beginning to end, it absolutely rips, shreds, pillages and demolishes. It's as thick and as mean as any of their past releases and, while not centered around three or so clear singles, it relies more on sound song writing, blistering instrumental work and furious vocal treatment from the great Jack White. Every outing, I like these two more and more. Pick it up. The album's a blast. There, now you have a record to buy.
On the music tip, Rock the Bells and Paid Dues are in deep competition for tour of the summer. I'm riding the fence on which one I'll choose to go to. Rock the Bells features Wu Tang Clan headlining with UGK, Nas, Talib Kweli, David Banner, Pharoahe Monch, Immortal Technique, Jedi Mind Tricks among others. Paid Dues features Slug of Atmosphere, Murs, Living Legends, Sage Francis, Brother Ali, Cage, Mr. Lif, Blueprint, Hangar 18 and more. Both super dope lineups. Still riding the fence. Anyone want to roll, it's gonna be Paid Dues in Santa Fe on August 9th and Rock the Bells in Dallas on August 7th.
I'd like for you to meet Randy Wyrick. We're not related, but I thought you might find this yearbook photo from 1973 as supergangsta as I did. Unlike some of the less-than-fantastic moments achieved by Wyricks and chronicled on The Root Down, it appears that Randy accomplish a rather quiet, crime-free life. I'm trying to figure out whether or not this is the Randy Wyrick that reports for a Vail newspaper.
I don't know if you've been following this, but people are losing limbs and even dying on amusement park rides. A girl lost both of her feet on the Superman ride at a Six Flags somewhere. I'm not sure if everyone's familiar with the Superman concept so let me educate. You start on the ground, strapped into a seat and then you launch up to some 20 stories into the air at an accelerated speed of nearly 55 m.p.h. The exhiliration of starting at a sitted position to flying at 55 m.p.h. straight into the sky is unmatched. So imagine, if you will, taking this flight with a cord wrapped around both feet and anchored to the ground. Yeah, ripped her feet right off her body. That's an insanely chilling story. For those about to eat, I apologize.