Monday, July 02, 2007


Here we have once-Red Sox hopeful Izzy Alcantara in, what I believe to be, the only video footage of him in existence. He played 21 games for the Red Sox back in 2001 and hit 4 home runs during that brief stint. Nonetheless, it wouldn't matter because it was this move he put on a catcher when he got brushed off the plate that made history. Keep in mind, this was during this term in the minors. Dude was ready for war. When Snoop says, "Step yo' game up," this is what he means.

Hip hop heads, I got an album for you. Oh No's Dr. No's Oxperiment on Stones Throw hitting shelves July 31st. Dude, this thing bangs so freaking hard I can't even begin to tell you. Purely instrumental, it's about 40 minutes of sheer hawd-core. If his brother Madlib's the refined jazz head of the family sitting around listening to Sun Ra, Oh No's that cat that sits around smoking weed, jamming EPMD and making necks just sore. It ain't just the flavor of the week, I gotta feeling this thing's going to last a good while. Cop it. While I'm on it, let's talk about another record that came in my Stones Throw stack today: the Now-Again Re:Sounds Vol. 1 which features Stones Throw stablemates reworking some of those beautiful funk reissues from associated label Now-Again. This material is incredible, people. Compilation features the sounds of Percee P (release that damn record already), Egon, J.Rocc, Edan, Cut Chemist, Aloe Blacc, Kenny Dope, blah blah's not even fair how good Stones Throw is. It just ain't fair. Get yo money ready people...these releases are starting to flow again. Looks like the industry is starting to wake from their seven-month slumber. Thank God I didn't lose my job and my home while they were sitting on projects.

I heard some dudes were doubting how photogenic my dogs were. Shame on you. There is no competition. Tucker col' crushes the competition with this passing shot in the hallway. Dude doesn't even try he just is. Thanks for playing. We have some lovely consolation prizes for the participants. Your dog is not as photogenic as ours. Tucker weighs 20 pounds and is starting to become quite vocal. His whines have become boisterous barks and the turds are no longer the size of Cheetos. They're more Cheez Puffs. Poor fella has an eye infection. Let's pray it ain't anything more serious. He's just a little sensitive right now. I'm taking him in early morning so we should have a diagnosis by tomorrow evening. This pic brought to you by the Mrs., my lovely wife. Yeah, she's got an eye for it.

Soon, I'll have a grasp on this blogging thing again. Y'boy got mad busy over the last few weeks and, well, something's gotta take a backseat while I'm out making the world a better place to live. Man, speaking of making the world a better place to live, all three albums I got from Stones Throw today are pure heat. Look for them at your friendly neighborhood Hastings. It's about time you spent some cheddah on hip hop, moneybags. Here's your annual earth-shaking explosion to remind you to be careful with those bottle rockets and think of Smokey the Bear who said, "Thanks for burning down my forest with your fireworks. It's not like I lived there or anything, you jerkoff." Nothing celebrates independence like burning your own land like a moron. Be careful with those flames. Unless you're under five feet of water like most of central Texas. In that case, fire away!

Got a bike thanks to my lovely wife's constant pushing to do so. It's nothing too special, but I insisted that I didn't want a bike that had a lot of decals on it. In fact, I told my wife that whatever bike I got, I wanted to paint it all black. She thought that was laughable. I just don't like how my bike is a color that I didn't pick and, well, when you're only investing $150, you're gonna have to settle on some details. While I was talked out of painting it now, I ripped off the decals that read "Silver Canyon." What a stupid name for bike. I might as well be riding a bike called, "I Didn't Date Much." So I ripped it off and proceeded to rid the bike of all decals. Even the decal that reads "Wear your helmet." Not that's not a good idea, but I just don't have to be reminded of it everytime I hop on the bike like a five year-old.

I still look like a turd on wheels, though. I mean, I'm an awkward guy as it is. I run awkward. I have an awkward golf swing. I even walk and sit awkward. It's a wonder I've made it this far without getting my ass whooped just on the premis that I'm a stupid lookin dude. Throw me on a bike and I instantly become a large moving target at which trash can be throw. We'll see. Maybe that's why I insist on no decals to add insult to injury. It's bad enough that I look dumb, but name my bike "Silver Canyon" and I'm liable to get run off the road in a hit and run.

Saw Transformers early last week and I'll tell you this: dope as hell. I'm glad I'm married now because if I said that as a single man, it'd be another twenty years of loneliness. All my married buddies enjoyed it tremendously, too. Angry Tim, Mayhem, Billy--we were grinning from ear to ear during the entire film. Personally, I think we were grinning partly because the movie was ill, but even more because we knew at the end of the night, we wouldn't go home alone in our Dodge Aries stationwagon to our parents' basements where we'd stay up all night slugging energy drinks and watching the History Channel. Just something to think about.


sarahsmile3 said...

Are we talking flat black or glossy? I would recomend the flat black.

j3 said...

flat black...absolutely.

like the black that you're white trash next door neighbor painted his chevy when he got trashed one saturday.

sarahsmile3 said...

Or the black that Lee used to paint his bedroom lamps. He added flames, though. Straight Rockabilly.

j3 said...