Played my third consecutive night of softball last night and it almost killed me. Subbing for the absent Looney on Trigger Happy, I threw my arm off like Dave Dravecky in the warm-ups. Yeah, felt like a stud. We annihilated the first team 20-5, though. You gotta think you got it coming when you beat dudes as bad as we did in that first game. I mean, there was some old woman in the crowd watching her son play and I'm thinking, "I just don't feel right running on these dudes like this." I mean, we scored 13 runs on them in the first inning all before the first out. The team was from the local Loves truck stop. I guess that's what they get for carrying Def Jam polo shirts (see from back in June 16th).
Second game were the type of dudes you just wanted to embarrass in front of all the spectators--from their wives to their kids. "Daddy, why does your softball team suck?" It was some concrete company. They had this mouthy pitcher who resembled Dan "Hoss" Blocker from "Bonanza."
You know the type. Talks trash all game because he thinks he's a comedian while, in reality, none of his teammates think he's funny, but they fear either being never invited back to play or, worse, physical harm and public embarrassment if they don't laugh. He's the guy who says things like, "Get 'r done!" and "Y'ain't lying!" On slightly better than average plays in the field, he'll pump his fist and grunt loudly. He usually drinks heavier than anyone in his pack and enjoys being the "life of the party," in fact, he'll sometimes refer to himself as just that. He wears multiple braces on his arms and legs because he feels it conveys to the other team that he's a "trooper" and he's paid his dues. Maybe, at a team get-together, he'll advance on some dude's wife and blame it later on a bad week and too much alcohol, but he's lying. He likes your wife and wishes he could take her from you because he lacks the ability to communicate with women because his sensitive emotional side is clouded from years of breaking bottles over his head to impress his meth-smoking friends and jumping off the roof onto a plywood table while rehearsing for the next backyard wrestling match. Sometimes he can't control the drool from dripping off his chin because he can't keep his bottom lip from dropping downward. His favorite baseball player still is Ken Caminiti and, yes, he loves Nascar. He doesn't know where Iraq actually is, but he believes we should "nuke 'em to high heaven." You know the guy, right?
Anyhow, we were down 3-18 on the verge of being run-ruled and then mounted an incredible comeback to land within striking and slaying distance at 15-18. With time expired, we managed to shave it down to 17-18 and would lose on a lazy fly ball to left field as the final out. Fist pumps from the pitcher and a few of those damaging high fives that leave your wrist and elbow tingling for hours afterwards.
Sucks to lose, but was nice to come home and pass out on the living room floor with the dogs watching 8 Seconds with my lovely wife. I really think that performance from Luke Perry is quite possibly the most feminine performance by a "90210" male cast member ever. My lovely wife loves that movie. Maybe because it brings out the Texan in her. That or it's all the footage of a young good ol' Stephen Baldwin. She likes her some Stephen, yo! I just don't get it.
So, anyhow, onto the designs. I was working within a motor motif this morning. You know, cars, automotive, horsepower. Firstly, there's this loc'ed out design that I call "Slow and Low" featuring the ultimate in versatility, the El Camino. It's a truck, it's a car--it's both. The Old English treatment on the text. Here it is, "Slow and Low."
And, then, after checking out the specs on the new Acuras and Hondas, I was inspired to create this design featuring the tag line up top, "Advanced Engineering for Optimum Performance." I was also considering simply "Powered by The Root Down Technology." Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. The winning design will be available for purchase at http://www.cafepress.com/therootdown for some incredibly reasonable price. Holla atcha boy.
On the same search, I found this wonderful edited Oprah video. I don't know why I found this so enchanting this morning, but I think you'll enjoy it. You gotta turn it up though to truly enjoy its radness.
Now, enjoy Tom Cruise getting squirted in the face. If you've seen it before, fall in love with it all over again. If you haven't, you ain't ready. Tom Cruise gets straight "scientologic" on this dude. You can see him go into a fuzzy mind-warping tone--probably the same tone he uses with Katie. "Why would you do that?" to "You're a jerk." My favorite part is, at the end, when the reporter walks away he turns on the charm for the crowd with, "Amazing!" and that beautiful Hollywood smile.
That's it for me. Ten more songs from the Top 333 Hip Hop Songs of All Time coming sometime this weekend. Stay illin'.