THE EIGHT MINUTE POST...

Waking up late because, well, I had one of those awesome hours of sleeplessness that spanned from about 2:40AM to 3:40AM last night. Fantastic. But, nonetheless, I have a commitment to my readers. So here we go.

I know I've mentioned it before, but UGK's "International Players' Anthem" is one of the illest tracks I've ever heard. It's just uncut dope. But since, still, the label has actually failed to get it into the marketplace, I'm going to post Andre 3000's opening verse (which might be one of his greatest ever):

"So, I typed a text to a girl I used to see,

Sayin that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be.

And I apologize if this message gets you down,

Then I CC'd every girl that I'd see see round town, and

I hate to see y'all frown but I'd rather see her smiling.

Wetness all around me, true, but I'm no island.

Peninsula maybe, makes no sense I know, crazy.

Give up all this pussycat that's in my lap, no lookin back.

Spaceships dont come equipped with rearview mirrors.

They dip as quick as they can The atmosphere

is now ripped I'm so like a Pip, Im glad it's night.

So the light from the sun would not burn me on my bum.

When I shoot the moon high, jump the broom.

Like a premie out the womb. My partner yellin, "Too soon!

Dont do it! Reconsider! Read some litera-

ture on the subject. You sure?

Fuck it, you know we got your back like chiroprac-

tic. If that bitch do you dirty, we'll wipe her ass out as in detergent.

Now hurry hurry, go on to the altar.

I know you aint a pimp, but pimp remember what I taught ya.

Keep your heart 3 stacks, keep your heart.

Aye, keep your heart 3 stacks, keep your heart.

Man, these girls is smart, 3 stacks, these girls is smart.

Play your part. Play your part."

Incredible. Dude's still got it. If only he could've dropped some of that sweetness on Idlewild.

So, apparently Wal-Mart's former ad agency had warned Wal-Mart for years that they were perceived as being a "bad corporate citizen who doesn't treat employees well and isn't acting as a good citizen of the planet." So they fired the agency--GSD&M out of Austin--an agency that I had once attempted to interview with as a young buck copywriting out of college. The report also cites issues with their customer base being stereotyped as "hillbilly." That could be a little unfair. I mean, my lovely wife shops there. But then again, last time I was in there, I had a young man mount me in the automotive/firearm section and asked me to oink like a pig. I'm considering that an isolated incident, though.

The above photo was taken by my talented brother-in-law of the young Tucker. He's a big fan of the Simpsons which, not all too coincidently, I had the pleasure of getting a screening of last night and, honestly, from someone who's not much of a fan, I found it quite enjoyable. That's all I have to say about that.

Roundhouse action resumes with the second season tomorrow night, but first, my commitments to my lovely wife's mixed league team come tonight with a late double-header. My lovely wife makes her triumphant return to the diamond after about a 12-year absence. Should be monumental.

Peeps, be good. Sorry so short this morning. If you don't like it, get yo own blog.