Wednesday, January 30, 2008


Let's get something straight. I'm a fan of fighting. Now, I don't mean violence. I mean fighting. There's a difference. Violence is an ideal, a theory. Violence is what happens when people fight incorrectly. But fighting is a pure, untainted act of force against another. It's not always pretty. In fact, the uglier the better. Violence is video games. It's depicted in movies. It's sometimes absurd. But fighting, doesn't necessarily draw blood. Fighting is not like dancing.

I've always thought myself to be a fan of violence, however, in time, I've found that the by distinguishing the difference between the two, I've now found myself more drawn to fighting. Violence has no point or purpose. There are no random acts of fighting. Only violence. Fighting happens for a reason. You pitch high and inside on the league's best hitter--there's gonna be a fight. There's territorial fights. There's political fights. There's fundamental fights. Some fights turn into wars. I don't know if I'm a fan of wars, but definitely fights.

Physical fights? Yeah, I like physical fights. I don't so much like arguments. They're too commonplace. People always like to talk. And even some talk alot of ish. But there's something about when grown men are talking, then arguing, then all of the sudden they come to fisticuffs. That's awesome. I think that a good fight is needed in all office spaces just to get the blood running. Yeah, I know most would disagree, but wouldn't you secretly like to see some cat just get beat down right there in the cubicle?

Violence, however, just bums me out. It's like, "Damn, kids exhibit such violence these days. Whatta bummer." Like those kids on YouTube videoing themselves beating each other up--that's just violence. They're acting violent. They're not fighting. The difference is fighting is not glamorized. It's not so theatric. I can tell you this, most kids don't want to get in fights. They might be troubled kids, but if done correctly, they don't want a fight. They might have violence in them, but they don't wanna fight.

I only bring it up because, well, I'm not really prone to violence or fighting. I'm a pretty relaxed guy and, despite having the tendency to show emotional votility, I don't ever start swinging because, well, I'm 30 years old. But to be honest, I've never been that type of cat. I've fantasized about doing it one day.

I guess this is kinda like a therapy session. It's one that my insurance doesn't need to cover because, well, it's just me and The Root Down. If it's true that I struggle with internalized anger issues, maybe this will help me clear my head and stop grinding my teeth at night.

The other day, I thought to myself, "It's been way too long since I've seen a good fight." The exhilaration that I feel from simply witnessing a fight is very difficult to explain. It's much like a bee sting or a adrenaline shot. It's like dark coffee. Or a good funk record. It just knocks the cobwebs loose and gets the heart pumping. Notice, however, I said "seen" a good fight.

Fighting is not something I would like to see family or friends involved with. I don't roll with a lot of fighters. I know that hurts my street cred and, likewise, hurts the street cred of anyone I hang out with, but c'mon, who are we kidding. We don't go fighting. Sometimes, I think about how bad ass it would be to roll with a dude like Begbie from Trainspotting. Maybe just for one night.

Alright, so tonight we learned there's a difference between violence and fighting. I like fighting, but I won't throw a punch. And if I talk trash, my friends won't have my back. Therapy session over. I'm taking my magnesium.

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