Sunday, June 12, 2005


Alright, so Saturday, after it appeared my beloved Sox were about to lose to the Cubbies for the second day in a row, I decided to take the stereo out on the front porch, throw in some music and plant some flowers that had been delivered courtesy of one of my lovely wife's co-workers. I started digging and was out there for about an hour or so as the clouds began to build up above me. A little thunder now and then, but figured I'd work until it began to rain. This is a great time for me to pause for a product endorsement. My neighbors across the street would understand.

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So, I'm starting to work on the south garden when I hear (gasp) tornado sirens sounding off. It's like a freaking air raid. My lovely wife's at work and Jax is chillin' in the living room. Because of some trees on the back of my property, I had a hard time making out the threat, but it was dark--very dark. I dash through the house to the back yard to bring in a few plants, move my car under a tree in the driveway, lock up all the exterior doors and head inside to the television. I turn on the TV to see the radar which indicated a wall cloud only maybe two miles from my house and appeared to moving directly toward my house. I began to panic. Phone rings. It's my lovely wife asking if it's clear to leave work. I return, "I wouldn't advise it," because something like this:

was quickly approaching the house. She insisted to come home so I gave her a safe route to come home basically avoiding the road which was now consumed in the storm. She dashes home and we sit patiently ready to make a dash for the bathroom in the case that it was right upon us. Our eyes were glued to the television as we watched the storm veer north, but still very close. Alarms still sounding, the report of close to baseball sized hail came across and both cars were out in the driveway because of a couch in the garage which we are holding for my brother-in-law. It was our old couch before getting our new furniture, see post below. I look at my lovely wife and tell her, "We gotta get one of those cars into the garage. Let's push the couch into the driveway. I'd rather ruin the couch than sustain damage on two cars." So that's what we did. Like white trash getting ready for a party on the patio, we pushed that couch out into the driveway, carefully manuevered my lovely wife's Toyota into the garage and left Boggs the Honda alone in the driveway with the couch--preparing for the worst--like a sitting duck in the path of baseball-sized hail cell. Well, we managed to get away with only a few sprinkles out of that storm, but then our eyes directed to the southwest where another storm was making it's way and, this time, I knew we weren't going to get as lucky. This storm had already produced two tornadoes and hail up to the size of softballs. I told my lovely wife that I was going to call Grandma and see we could somehow wedge Boggs into her garage. Grandma answered and said, "Better hurry," so we hopped in our cars to deliver Boggs over to my Grandma's place and then back to our house to endure what was sure to be one helluva hail storm. On our way back to the house, Amarillo was eerily quiet as the town braced for the oncoming onslaught. We got home, parked the car back in the garage, couch in the driveway and sprinted inside with Jax who now needed to do his biz outside. Let Jax out for his last chance for relief before ice softballs plummeted thousands of feet onto (or into) our house. Luckily, this beast was moving slow so we had plenty of time to prepare, but there's little you can do to prepare for hailstones that size.

We watched the radar as the storm consumed city block after city block as it approached our house. The wind began to howl, the sky darkened and rain started to come down in buckets. I sat there anxiously waiting for the softballs.


Something hits the window, Jax jumps. I look out the front window. Pea-sized hail and not alot of it at all. I could count maybe ten hail stones from my vantage point. But the rain continued, pounding the garden and creating a rampaging river out of our block. But no softball-sized hail.

So after storms that brought five confirmed tornadoes, hail up to the size of softballs and up to 3 inches of rain in some places, what would be the total damage?

ONE COUCH. Sorry, Jace. It's soaked. I almost wanted softball-sized hailstones (or at least one of them) so that I could justify throwing the couch out in the rain to save our automobiles from damaging weather which, despite some serious close calls, would never arrive. I'll keep an eye on it to see if it dries out alright, but it might be a wash.

Haha. A wash.

Well, woke up the this morning and went to visit Grandma and get my car back. Threw on some Hendrix on the stereo as I tore up the side of the house preparing to throw down some grass seed tomorrow. Forecast calls for 50% chance of rain, some may be severe and, yes, some may produce tornadoes. This time, I'm going to have my camcorder ready. See if I can make some money.

Cubs and Sox play tonight on ESPN. See if we can salvage at least one win out of this series. Hey, if nothing else, Cubs can gain some ground on the Cardinals. Glad we could help.

Oh yeah, our office softball team scored 17-runs in one inning to slaughter the first place team in our league for a share of first place. Final score: 22-13. Because it was a tie for first, the look to see who won the series which we split 1-1 so then it comes down to the total number of runs scored against each other in our two games. First game they beat us 17-9. Second match, we beat them 22-13 which means in our head to head, we outscored them 31-30 giving us first place and a first round bye in the tournament next Thursday.

And Pay Rod says, "Nice job, but how do my eyebrows look?" Whatta Prima Donna. Spanks are still under .500. Nice suit, Alexis. If only you put as much passion into baseball as you do shopping, you Sally.


todd...your freakin brother said...

Nicely done on the rundown. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the Red Sox for 2 wins in the Friendly Confines. Hey, don't you head to the Ballpark to see the Sox in July? Just wondering when to set the VCR.

sarahsmile3 said...

tornadoes give me bad dreams.

j3 said...

I have dreams about tornadoes all the time and, yes, July 4th, Todd. Six rows behind home plate in Arlington stadium. I'm thinking about going topless. That should make me easy to spot. Look for the massive white ball of hair.