Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Yeah, it's like I got that motherly instinct. He cries and my breasts leak. Geez, I'm tired. That's a helluva way to start off a post. Nah, Tucker's beginning to develop sleeping patterns, however, sometimes in the middle of the night, he'll belt out a bark that'll wake up a sleeping deaf man three area codes away.That barks beginning to get lower and less endearing, but that's his inevitable journey toward doghood. He seems to really like the Geto Boys and Outkast's Idlewild. I guess that makes five people and a dog that enjoyed Idlewild. He also is becoming a big fan of Matsuzaka--especially after last night's performance. Before the game, in case you missed it, Jimmy Leyland (whom I still respect just because he's a killer manager) was quoted after being asked about Dice K, "I don't give a (expletive) about him. I'm not getting into all that. I could give a (expletive) less. It's another pitcher. We're playing Boston. Obviously, he's an outstanding pitcher. He's a major league pitcher. And that's who we're facing."
Dice K would pitch a complete game, only surrendering only one run, no walks and got 16 groundouts. The win would give the Sox their biggest division lead in 12 seasons. Stuff that in your cigar and smoke it, Jimmy.

Thanks to the wonderful Monster and Bill Sharp at Fat Beats, everyone got a glimpse of the new Common record--a track produced by Kanye with cuts from Premier. You ain't even ready. People still front on Kanye pretty hard, but dude can produce records. Speaking of, mental note to ask when the new Kanye is coming out. He hasn't had a record in two years. Dude's slacking.

I'd like to address a comment I made about Wal-Mart and how I would proudly shoplift from Wal-Mart. By no means do I condone stealing from businesses, however, I do condone stealing from Wal-Mart. I meant every bit of it.

People in this town have no idea how to construct fences. Yeah, I'm talking about the things that normally surround your house and/or yard. It's embarrassing. The evolution of the fence in the Yellow can be viewed just by driving some of the older neighborhoods throughout the city. The most common (and annoying) mistake that people in this town make when constructing fences is they put the rails on the wrong side. It has the esthetic of putting your shoes on backwards. Basically, from the street, you should not see anything but pickets. If you see rails, it was constructed in correctly. Your neighbor can see rails, but the street and the alley should see all pickets. The thought here is this: it's a security issue. With rails on the outside, one could easily put their feet on the bottom rail, lift themselves over the pickets and have a clear, effortless view of your yard and property. If they wanted to the climb into your yard, it would take them only a matter of seconds to lift themselves over, cut a lock to get out and you could come home to find your crap gone. Alot of people think that the rails are unsightly and so they put them on the outside so that when they look out into the their backyard, all they see is pickets. There's a functionality and purpose to the design of a fence. Recognize.

And someone made a freaking killing off of chainlink fences in this town. I think that the townspeople just gave up on making their own fences because they sucked so bad at it and one guy came to town with tons of chainlink and just went buckwild. If there's anything that's more pointless from a security perspective than putting the rails on the outside of a wood fence, it's a three and a half foot chainlink fence. A guy my size could probably hurdle it and your poodle would be gone in seconds. Just a little fence talk for you. I know you needed it.

Thunderstorms pulling into the area right now. Gotta love your morning coffee accented with a thunderstorm. The weather has been freaking crazy here in the Yellow. We're doubling up our normal rain totals. My backyard is like an afro. I really green afro that's nice to walk on.

Got mad travels coming up. This weekend, I'm heading to OKC for Tool with Angry Tim, his wife and Mayhem. Not a fan, but I've heard the live performance nails it shut. Memorial Day weekend I'm catching Sox in Arlington. My wife asked if we should tone down our Sox garb for the game and I responded that, "Sox fans will outnumber Ranger fans 10-1." And it's true. It's so true that I consider a series in Arlington as a series at home. Kansas City, Anaheim, Tampa Bay and Toronto are also equally friendly to the Sox. You know, real baseball cities. After that would be my lovely wife and I celebrating our 5th anniversary. It's also Sox vs. Spanks in Boston and, word on the street is that Jockitch Clemens will be ready to throw. Of course, you might remember that this was the series that I was originally trying to secure tickets for in Boston, but was unsuccessful. Oh well, it'll be televised. Sure my lovely wife will appreciate the networks for doing so. Then, the next weekend, we'll be heading to the smoggy skies of Los Angeles and Pasadena to see bro bro graduate.

For me, that'll be 6-straight weekends of some sort of travel. And now I find out that Wolfmother will be hitting Austin in July. Geez, it just doesn't stop. Now, if I could just find a way to get gas down about 50%. Have we given up on the idea that gas will ever be $1.25 again? Is that impossible?

Below is Curtis Wyrick. He's been a bad man.

I'm still researching what this cat did, but he was arrested for violating his parole. At the time he was captured, he was considered armed and very dangerous. I guess we can rule out shoplifting at Wal-Mart. I imagine it's hard to be named Curtis and not be some sort of danger to society.

Poor guy. It was stacked against him, really.

Shower time, one last mug of coffee and then to work I go. Holla atch boy. It's Tuesday. Go buy some music today. Linkin Park comes out today or, my suggestion, order those Betty Davis reissues from Light in the Attic. The material is insane. Josh, what up, that's your monthly shout. No seriously, the Betty Davis stuff is so so funky. You ain't even ready.

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