TYPICAL SPANKEE-LAND HILARITY

Well, when you're going through pitchers like my neighbor goes through wives, the Yankees had to do something. That something was a desperate $28 million dollar investment. And, the greatest part about that $28 million is that it will only get them to the end of the season, but not a day of baseball in 2008. Now, let's put that into perspective on what Roger Clemens will be getting paid to play baseball from June on. Roger "I do it for the love" Clemens will get paid more than the entire Devils Ray squad (pitchers and hitters included). A team that, by the way, was leading the Yankees in the standings before today. Look at him. So young. So promising.

Now the dude's 44 years old and, when he was in Houston, dude wouldn't even go out on the road with the team so he could enjoy the life of an aging major leaguer. He'd sit on his fat ass in Houston and go to Aerosmith concerts while his loser Astros team was getting swept in the World Series. Did anyone miss that? It happened so quickly.

44 years old. Man, this dude's been in the league a while. Sure, the Sox have two 41 year olds, but the difference is, first, they're pitching well and have been actively pitching consistantly and, secondly, we got young guns behind them that are mowing some of the best hitters in the league. What's with Joe's Fu Manchu look? That's horrible.

Yeah, no question that Roger doesn't own a pair of balls. Perhaps he can borrow Steven's. Eh, I'm looking forward to it for a few reasons. Dolan and I were talking in Chicago that we needed a new story in the rivalry and this could definitely be that. Secondly, it's nice as a Sox fan to have a $28 million vacuum in your opponent's clubhouse. Guess there's no exit plan if Roger doesn't really pan out. You're just screwed. Lastly, man it's gonna be nice to see his first visit back to Fenway Park. We all know how the last time he was in that neighborhood went. They say he might actually come back June 1st (our anniversary) in Fenway. I'm wondering if a 44-year old pansy who hasn't pitched in the majors in months would consider hanging a few fast balls for a Manny or Papi. Wonder if he'd even consider, for old times' sake, going inside on, say, Wily Mo Pena. Any way you cut it, it can't be great for the Yankees. They continue to add to their collection of aging pitchers without investing one penny in the future. I mean, it's like a freaking archaeological exhibit in their bullpen these days. I wonder if anyone told Roger (who has been working on his tan while trout fishing during the season so far) if Mariano is about the most hittable reliever in the game right now and he can't close a game for a win if his career depended on it. Their bullpen still has more holes than one can even count and it's fairly obvious that Georgie Poo and Ca$hman have no plans of really doing anything to situate those woes. Oh well, we march on.

We still know what happened last time the Spanks put money into an aging fastballer. Let the games begin!