Wednesday, July 05, 2006

CHANNEL 8 WISHES YOU, RZA, A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.


Yep, that's right. The Yellow's very own Channel 8 wished Wu-Tang's RZA a very happy 37th birthday today. Kinda.

I was at home watching the noon o'clock news on Channel 8. They do the "View" setup where they all sit around and "act" like they're just conversing and such on topical items. They sit on big couches and have their coffee mugs in front of them and just casually move from war to catastrophe to gas prices to the weather. Seamlessly. And they do it over and over about three times throughout the show.

Well, because there's not really much news in the Yellow, they have to fill some of that time with other things and a common filler is celebrity birthdays. Today happens to be RZA's birthday and, much to my surprise, his name popped up on the television screen right below Huey Lewis (who I think they said just topped 80). They read off the first three names and then they arrive at RZA and the weather guy says, "And rapper R-Z-A is celebrating his 37th birthday so we'd like to wish him a happy birthday, as well."

Okay, it's pronounced /riz'-uh/ not spelled out "R-Z-A." And then the blonde newsreader says, "There's always someone I've never heard of on those birthday lists."

Yeah, it'd probably help if you said his name right, fella. What kinda birthday wish is that?! "Happy birthday, R-Z-A. Man, that's a stupid name for a rapper. Well, happy birthday anyway. I've never heard of him. Must not be anything too spectacular. Probably us mentioning his birthday is the biggest recognition he's received in his entire career. Keep rappin', R-Z-A."

Here, I'll do it properly. RZA, happy birthday. Now get to work on your new record because the world's waiting.

And, sometimes the news is just too punctual. Today, there was a report on how every July 4th, there are so many instances where dogs get startled or frightened by the explosions of fireworks that they escape from their yard and become panicked. Sometimes even running out into traffic and tragically dying from a collision with an automobile. Those that are lucky to escape death on their frenzied blitz around the neighborhood end up at the city pound where either they end up getting adopted or euthanized.

Yeah, great idea for a story on the fifth of July. If my Jackson escaped and got hit by a truck on a nearby road last night, I would've been pissed. But, then again, Jackson doesn't run anymore because he has too many perks here at the household. That and I like to think that my lovely wife and I are smart enough to realize the risk of that happening.

Speaking of the holiday that now was, it still is with the white trash in our neighborhood. I still hear firecrackers going off. It never gets old to a select percentage of the population. No coincidence it's the same select percentage that park their cars in their lawns. I'm not suggesting anything, I'm just, well, yeah I am.

5 comments:

sarahsmile3 said...

4th of July is a holy day for the white trash.

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