Okay, in case you missed it, Faith Hill "apparently" lost it when Carrie Underwear was named Female Vocalist of the Year at this year's CMAs. Peep the link below to see it all in real time.
Now, I could harp on how I think country music is the biggest snooze and no one cares anyway or I could pick on the CMAs about how much a loser show this is or I could do both. Okay, I'll do both.
First off, it's my belief that this is an absolute joke like Faith Hill has come out and claimed. If that's true, Faith Hill pulled off one of the funniest things I've ever seen at an award show. I mean, as a prank, it's not that ingenius, but for Faith to stoop and actually do that with no explanation is hilarious. Props to Faith for that. I have a new respect for her, b'lee dat. But her music still sucks. B'lee dat doubly.
Okay, let's work under the assumption that it's not a joke and that was a genuine reaction. It would, in fact, be much funnier. A woman as composed and classy as Faith Hill finally cracking and going all T-Rex for all the world to see. I mean, you can't really blame Faith for expecting a win. The CMAs just recycle names for awards. It's a popularity contest. You hear the winners and you're thinking, "They haven't had a record in almost three years." It's not as timely as, say, the Grammys. I mean, Brooks and Dunn and Kenny Chesney win every year regardless of whether or not they're actually working a record. And regardless of whether or not they complete suck as "artists." Faith's just an animal of conditioned behavior. If the award has the word "female" in it, she's shifting in her seat ready to accept.
I question the credibility of an awards show that pulls from such a restricted pool of talent. I mean, it's like the Source Awards. You're really only talking about maybe fifteen total artists eligible for about ten different awards. Both are just drivers for advertising. There's no real importance to either of these awards show except that they prove that viewers are mindless zombies. This is why it makes more sense that it was joke, wait, I'll take you one further. It was arranged by the award show to spice up what is rather the dullest award show on earth. I'd rather watch the Nobel Prizes be handed out. At least the Source Awards are better at spicing things up when the performances and awards really begin to mean nothing. So what, Faith flips out. I need there to be a melee. I mean, someone needs to get slapped in the very least. The Source Awards have proved year after year that when it gets boring, someone brandish a knife or firearm and you can always end successfully.
That's not right. I don't condone violence.
Really though. Country music's still around? I forgot about it for some reason. If it weren't for the CMA's, CMT and the scattering of country stations across the US, would country be extinct? Everytime I read a radio report and I see a country artist getting spins, I'm thinking where? What's really funny is the Grammys when the country artists are mixed in with everyone else and you realize why they request to have their own show. Because they're completely outshined. When did you last see a country artist nominated for Album of the Year or Record of the Year? And when they do a pan of the Grammy audience, you see a smattering of cowboy hats and you're thinking, "Who the hell invited them?" And when they perform on the Grammys, it totally feels like, "Just let 'em perform. They'll raise a fuss if you don't." They usually pair someone up with a country artist just to validate it--a Tony Bennett, a Bono, an Elvis Costello. Otherwise, you'd go from 100% viewership to 30% faster than you can say, "Montgomery Gentry."
Alright, I'm travelling today. That's all you get. It's 5:45am. I got two cups of coffee in me and my flight leaves in an hour thirty.
Rory, I weigh 218. Let the fun begin.