CALL ME "HOSS," CATCH A BAD ONE...IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

Today, I was walking through the office and, as I'm privileged to enjoy on a daily basis, are pleasant greetings from my co-workers. Sometimes, it's a "whaddup, bro" or a "how's it goin', man?" Though today, I got one that I never, under any circumstances, want to hear again. I've been addressed this way before, but today it peaked and I finally have to put my foot down.

"What's up, hoss?"

I've decided that I'm not cool with this greeting at all. In fact, I'm offended. I just found that the name "hoss" has some negative connotations. It just sounds derrogatory. "Boss" I don't mind. Hell, I'd even take "jerk-off" before I could stomach being called a "hoss." I've always been a bigger fella just in my sheer dimensions. I'm not saying I'm King Kong, but I'm big. I got big feet, long arms, my size abnormally large skull, my wingspan, my long fingers--whatever. But, by no means am I a hoss. I did a little investigation into the origin of the name "hoss" and here's what I found thanks to our good friends at Wikipedia.

The most popular use of the word was Hoss Cartwright from Bonanza--a show way before my time and after my interest. More commonly though is its use in professional wrestling to describe a large wrestler with "a well-built body, but often with little technical wrestling ability and sometimes not much charisma" and are "hired mainly for their size." To continue, "The term 'hoss' was coined by Jim Ross, Ross uses it as a positive term, using it to say that a wrestler is large, powerful and unstoppable. However, since many of the wrestlers he applies it to are significantly lacking in the talent and/or charisma departments, and rely exclusively on their size to get over, it has come assume its current meaning as a insult."

If you call me a "hoss," you betta have your running sneakers on. If you ain't quick enough to flee, you betta be watching for the hook because I'll use it.