HAPPY JELLO'D FOOD DAY (I'M BRINGING THE SAUERKRAUT)

Today, I'm thankful for my lovely wife. I'm thankful for family. I'm thankful for zombie movies. I'm thankful for Sony. I'm thankful for my stupid beagles (even though they still eat their own feces). I'm thankful for Rummikub. I'm thankful for Funkadelic. I'm thankful for pecan pies (bourbon chocolate pecan pies, mind you). I'm thankful for evening jogs to the gym only to be too worn out to work out once I get there. I'm thankful for time changes that my body can't adjust to. I'm thankful for friends. I'm thankful for people who still buy CDs (even though they refuse to pay over $10 for them...rightfully so). I'm thankful for Mike Leach. I'm thankful for tasers. I'm thankful for Robert Deniro even though duke hasn't done a decent movie in ages. I'm thankful for Pedroia. I'm thankful for Def Jam. I'm thankful for being the first one on the mountain after a nice snowfall. I'm thankful for New Balance 574s. I'm thankful for CNN Headline News. I'm thankful for the hope that, one day, I'll get to chase a tornado. I'm thankful for the approaching ski season. I'm thankful for pale ales. I'm thankful for Honda products. Hell, I'm kinda thankful for my veteran neighbor (or as I like to call him Corporal Noah) who puts all those stupid animals out in his yard. I'm thankful for moron UT fans that failed to even graduate from high school. I'm thankful for Krispy Kremes even though the Yellow took my Krispy Kreme away from me. I'm thankful for Columbia Sportswear. I'm thankful for James Brown, Public Enemy, Charles Mingus, De La Soul and The Sword. Still thankful for the Lions although I'm just waiting for them to release a freakin' proper record. I'm thankful for ping pong (which I plan on playing some this weekend). I'm thankful for Ugly Mug Coffee which is quickly becoming my favorite. I'm thankful for moms. I'm thankful for grandmoms. I'm thankful for my nephew Parker. He's a dope lil' kid. I'm thankful for Blue Note. I'm thankful for starch. I'm thankful for garbage disposals. I'm thankful for hot sauce and salsas. I'm thankful that I was born in West Texas. I'm thankful for Axl Rose even though he gave Chinese Democracy to Best Buy. Whatta prick. I'm thankful for Keith Moon. I'm thankful for graffiti artists. I'm thankful for Skullcandy. I'm thankful for our armed forces who will have to endure yet another holiday season fighting for our safety. I'm thankful for wireless devices. I'm thankful Messiah (not the Messiah, mind you, although I'm also thankful for that) for releasing the redesign on the original Nintendo console so that I can play "Baseball Simulator 1.000" on a 46" television. Strangely, I'm thankful for the first and only cold of the season. I'm thankful for menudo. I'm thankful for a good sneeze and a good stretch. Also, I'm thankful for a good belch and a good fart. I'm thankful for white trash. I'm thankful for trash of all colors and ethnicities. I'm thankful for Insane Clown Posse fans that put a roof over my head. I'm thankful for Danny Ainge and Theo Epstein. I'm thankful for chocolate. I'm thankful for fleece and I'm thankful for Velcro (even though I sometimes don't act like it). I'm thankful for Pat Sajak and Howie Mandel. I'm thankful for the underdog and, at times, I'm thankful for the dynasties.

I'm heading down to Lubbock--center of the college football universe--this weekend to see my beloved Red Raiders pull off the most unlikely of results to this season. OSU will beat OU. A&M will beat UT and the Red Raiders will hang an Abilene Christian output on Baylor beating them 93-20--leapfrogging over both OU and UT into the Big 12 Championship and then mercilessly pounding Missouri on their way to the National Championship in Florida. Really, we just need for Oklahoma State to beat OU. If that happens, we win the tie against UT because we beat them in the head-to-head and we'll win the Big 12 South and play in the Big 12 Title game. There's still something to salvage from this season. You bet.

The shirts are ready, my friends. Again, five bucks a pop if we do it hand-to-hand. If I gotta mail it, it'll be seven bucks. I sold seven of the fifty yesterday so they're moving fast. I got plenty of larger sizes because, let's face it, you can shrink a XXL, but you can't fit a fat man in a medium. Ever. I gotta say, the shirts look so freaking dope. I have a varying sizes, configurations (long sleeve and short sleeve), colors and two different designs. And that price is $1.28 below cost because I like you cats and know times are hard. You can barely get an undershirt for five bones these days. Holla atcha boy.

First road block in the De La Buhloone Mindstate mix: I can't find the original sample of the guitar in "Eye Patch." Hopefully, this doesn't lead me on a White Lightnin' hunt. I can't afford another one of those chases. One sight says it's Lee Dorsey. Another says it's the Meters. It ain't either because I've heard both of those songs. I'm 7% finished though which, in terms of completion, that's an insignificant number. Just say I haven't started because that's more accurate.

Keep smilin', homie. Life's pretty nice.