SO LONG, KATIE...

It's not like I really have it out for Katie Couric, but with the recent news of her leaving the Today Show, it quickly dawned on me that I won't miss her at all. In fact, I'm going to love waking up and not having to hear her squeeky, mousey voice and chuckles. Matt Lauer I like. Al's no Willard Scott, but I suppose he'll do. Ann Curry is wonderful at the news desk, but Katie has always been tough to get used to. Even harder at 7AM and, for this reason, I say, "Katie, don't let the proverbial door hit you on the tush on the way out."

Something just rides me about how she always plays this little "friendly neighbor" act up. I don't buy it because you sit her in front of a politician or public figure in an interview and BAM! she completely blindsides you with a furious tyrannic barage of jabs and cheapshots and then, on the other side of the commerical break, she's back to her cute, giggly cheerleader routine.

Also, Katie is not funny. Matt's not really that funny either. In fact, it's always the weatherman (notice how I don't say meterologist) who always cracks the jokes and goes for the big laugh. Katie's that person who always likes to get the last crack at a punchline. Like, for instance, Al tells a joke from setup to punchline then Matt kinda makes a remark about the joke and gets another smaller laugh, but a geniuine laugh nonetheless. Then out of nowhere, Katie interjects with a piggyback joke and it always falls flat. Girl wouldn't be able to make a four year old laugh.

Here she is again--doing something dumb.

It would be like Al throwing a bullet pass to Matt under the basket and Matt then with an easy lay-up. Then, out of nowhere they're teammate Katie dashes from the bench to the basket, snags the ball out of the ref's hands and then attempts to slam it home and misses horribly.

Simply put, she annoys me. She's leaving right before it hits the haunting stage where she creeps into my dreams and annoys me there. It's bad enough having to start my day with her each morning (obvious guy asks, "Why don't you watch another channel?" to which I have no answer). If she makes it into my sleep, I'm screwed. I'll never go to sleep for fear she'll walk up to me in a dream and try and tell a joke. Or worse, she'll drill me about the gas crisis or when I ran out on my wedding the day before and fled to Albuquerque and later lied to law enforcement with a fabricate story of kidnapping. Wait, that wasn't me. Neither was the gas crisis. I walk to work.

So, Katie, farewell. I'm now going to start a petition to rescue Jane Pauley from her trapping and bring her back.

Right back atcha, Katie.