GRAMMY PREDICTIONS

Grammy Hog Bono just can't wait for Sunday night.

"You're Beautiful" will win Record of the Year.
"Put Your Records On" will win Song of the Year.
The performances will be regarded as the saddest Grammy performances in years.
Red Hot Chili Peppers will win Album of the Year.
The Grammys, once again, prove themselves twenty to thirty years behind the music world.

Corinne Bailey Rae will win Best New Artist--upsetting James Blunt.

Wolfmother will not win a Grammy although they terribly deserve one.

The "Best Urban/Alternative Performance" award will go another year without a clear definition of the criterium used to determine the nominees.

The "Best Rap/Sung Collaboration" will perpetuate what is known as the single-most annoying trend in hip hop from the last ten years.

The Roots will keep T.I. from going 4-4 beating him out for "Best Rap Album."

The audience will, once again, give U2 their annual over-ovation and Bono will go on some crazy tangent about humanity and charity. Good for him.

The Police are a really good ska band. They're not greatest band ever. All the hype will go completely unrewarded with a flat Police performance.

Earth Wind & Fire will absolutely kill it however Ludacris will almost kill it.

You can't spell "Shakira" without "shake" and she will do plenty of it...almost to annoyance.

James Blunt will win enough awards to be satisfied and forego a follow-up album and, thankfully, retire early.

Lionel Richie will, believe it or not, outdo Smokey Robinson in the "creepy plastic surgery" category.

This year's show will rank amongst the lowest in viewership in the history of the show and you'll be able to directly blame the music industry for starving voting and purchasing public of good music.

Next year's show will blow this year's out of the water.

DangerMouse will be the indie-cred buzz artist of the show.

VH1 will say, "I told you so," after it's all said and done.

Outkast will win, at least, one award even though we all know they don't deserve one proving that, when it comes to "urban" music, the voting members know artists and not music.