Before we get into the Grammys, I gotta tell ya'll about a story I read in today's paper.
It's about a prostitute named "Angel." She's hanging up the stilettos after 20 years of street-walking--17 in the city of the Yellow. I'm not sure how long prostitutes' careers normally last, but I gotta think that 2o years is like 90 in prostitute years. She became a prostitute to get out of her hometown and "see the world." Take a guess at Angel's hometown?
Lawton, Oklahoma. In twenty years, she's only made it about 200 miles out of Lawton.
She was picked up a couple nights ago on drug possession charges, but vows to quit the business this time upon release. Apparently, the Amarillo-Globe News saw this story as inspiring as I did and gave it a front-page feature on the Sunday morning paper. Holy cow.
When asked what was the worst part of prostitution (brace yourself), Angel replies:
"The worst part was the sex."
You can't make this stuff up.
Alright, onto the Grammys. Just at a glance of my predictions, I was horribly wrong.
James Blunt didn't win any Grammys.
Corinne Bailey Rae didn't win squat either.
Wolfmother won?! Insanity. I'm surprised, but yet, I'm not. Just further proof of how much they kill.
T.I. took 2 outta 4. Roots got nuttin.
Smokey Robinson's plastic surgery has hit a remarkably intense level of rediculousness. Isn't he almost 112 now? He couldn't even close his eyes. Lionel Richie looked quite good...natural even.
Earth Wind and Fire didn't kill it. It was mad boring.
Police rocked it, but still let's remember, they ain't that good. Sting, put on some sleeves, homegrown.
Missed Shakira's performance, but you know what, I bet I didn't miss anything.
Was this year void of a Bono appearance?
Dude, a tribute to the Eagles?! What did they do good this last year? Better yet, what did they do good ever? That performance was seriously corny. The Eagles were a good country band, but a terrible rock band. It's no surprise they got Rascal Flat singing their garbage songs.
Mary J. Blige oversung her performance again. I get it, Mary. You're an emotional performer, just be safe.
What's with this American Idol-voting garbage? These dudes are out of touch. Nobody cares. I bet only five people actually voted.
Can we finally retire "Crazy"? I thought they were going to move on to a second single almost four months ago. You know Cee's way tired of singing that crap.
Christina picked for a James Brown tribute. Geez. Do the man some justice. She can't sang. Here's a more fitting tribute to James Brown. Do yourself a favor.
Watch that dude go into the robot. Shazzaaam!
Yeah, all in all, no surprises. Except the Dixie Chicks. Whoa! The biggest no-surprise is that the Grammys have once again topped the industry in most out of touch award system. I mean, TV on the Radio topped almost every list in the country as album of the year and they weren't up for one Grammy. How in the hell does that happen? My Chemical Romance wasn't up for a single Grammy either and alot of people thought they had a shoe in.
Let's talk about a real awards show--the Plug Awards--which was held over the weekend as well. J-Dilla won Artist of the Year and Producer of the Year, Spank Rock won Hip Hop Album of the Year. Check out www.plugawards.com for a full list of winners.