Thursday, February 01, 2007

AQUA TEEN GOES CRIMINAL...LOCAL NEWS ANCHORS GO STUPID

In the one shred of a moment that our local news anchors dedicate to news that's actually occuring outside of the Yellow, they covered a story in Boston (home of my beloved Red Sox) in which a security scare was caused by lighted mooninites, Ignignokt and Err, who were put up around the city in high provile areas to publicize the new full length movie releasing March 23rd.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but our local news anchors just fumbled the whole freaking story. Reading directly from the AP wire, it read much like above until the goofy nincompoops decided to roll off the script ad lib. This is where the news director gets really nervous.

We'll call them Damon and Christina to protect their identity and their employer.

Damon: "The two men put up these lighted devices around the city as advertisements for a cartoon. Bridges were closed and streets were blocked off because of these lighted devices."

Christina: "Wow, scary stuff. And to think of it as an advertisement for a cartoon. It'll be interesting to see how this story developes."

There's no development, Christina. That's the end of the story. They put up some lighted characters, people freaked out, two guys were arrested and that's the end of the story. Just stop talking. They then went back to local news rushing to a story about a crock-pot cook off.

I feel confident my local news is responsible for the diminished intelligence of this city. I don't want to be entertained, I want to be informed.

Christina ends the broadcast with, "We'll be back with updates."

Christina, there are no updates to local news. Things happen and then they're done happening.

Whoa, Aqua Teen terror scare makes the top headline on the Today Show. Must be bigger than I originally thought.

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