AIGHT, LET'S GO BACK TO FLOR'DUH

You know, I really want to root for teams like the Devil Rays because I like an underdog, but sorry, I only root for one team and when they're out, I'm out. C'mon, folks, let's face it--the Sox are the underdogs of this series. We're the wild card winner. We're without our World Series MVP Mike Lowell. We traded Manny. We got a slumping slugger. Our star pitcher's gotta sore oblique. We're getting our asses col' whooped in our own house.

We look like old, slow former greats. Tampa Bay, y'know, good for them. They're fast, eating Wheaties, swinging for the fences on every pitch. They're pitchers are mowing down Sox. They've been picked on all these years and now they're on a tear. They're getting revenge, but you know what, no one really cares except Yankee fans watching "Grey's Anatomy," Fox and TBS...and my brother.

A better story, to me (the devout Sox fan), is young little upstart tries to eat papa's pie and, we go down 1-3 in the series and, down 0-7 in the 7th inning of Game 5, we come back and score eight runs in the last three innings and win 8-7 and rock the kiddos on their heels. How sweet would it be now to go back to Tampa Bay and win the last two and put Tampa Bay and their entire fanbase of, uh, about 60,000 people back in the cellar.

Okay, I'm zealous. And the Devil Rays are a tough team, no doubt. And I'm serious when I say that we're the underdogs. People hate on the Sox, but let's not forget that Pedroia, Youkilis, Lester, Paplebon, Ellsbury, Masterson, Lowrie--they're all homegrown in the 'Tucket. We don't field 9 million-dollar Mannies. Call us "Goliaths," whatever. They're my team. It's the hat I wear and, tonight, after posting the second greatest comeback in postseason history (y'know, Wyricks are known for comebacks--rememeber the NBA Finals last year, Tech bowl games, Roundhouse tournies, life, etc), I'm a proud man. There's no beer left in the bottle as I finish this.

Is that Evan Longoria kissing on some lady? What the?

Get a room, duke. Oh wait, that's Johnny from the MTV's Road Rules. This is Evan Longoria. See you in Tampa. How's you're sister? Oh yeah, nice throw, Eva.
Beckett in Game 6 on Saturday night (holds breath). If necessary, Lester throws in Game 7. It's as good a chance as we have. I told Ron today, "Sox in seven." What am I gonna say? Rays in six? Sheesh.

Oh yeah, Manny's watching from his house in the hills. Let's see if we can give him a good show.