Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Alright, let's hit it with an update. Sorry I've been a little distant.

Management asked me to lay low after confessing my love for Justin Timberlake so I went into hiding until it cooled off a little. I'm back now. The vans have stopped driving by the house slowly. I didn't know it was such a danger.

As you might have seen, I'm entering a period of a baseball-free life after the Sox absolutely blew their chance to overtake the Bankees in the standings. Whaddya gon' do? The dudes couldn't pinch off a win if the Yankees missed their flight--they'd still find a way to lose. Key injuries have killed us down the stretch. It's like trying to fight a war with a paper clip and a rubberband (which can be lethal if used correctly--but only once).

The Yellow's now entering our, uh, let's say fifth straight day of rain, however, it might be more. I just lost count. Don't believe me? Check this out:

Here firemen rescue a motorist out of about a current of about eight inches of rain. It's no Katrina, but it's as close as Yellowians will ever be. This town averages about 18 inches of rain a year. What they fail to tell you is that it all comes in two weeks.

I was in a local gas station and I heard a man say, "They say we've received four inches in the last five days, but at an intersection in my neighborhood it's goin' over the hood of my car! I think we've got a lot more than four inches, man!"

I suppose he never learned the concept of gravity. In fact, I'm sure there's alot of things this guy never learned.

Roderick! Whaddup, man! Pleasure to meet you. I'll try not to disappoint this year with my list. In the meantime, pick up the J-Dilla record The Shining. It's hot to death.

Area rapper Newox came to town this weekend (that'd be Danny, the original City Fence). As always good to see him. This trip he was showing off his new Hummer. It's like a freakin' 747 on wheels--the thing barely fit in our driveway. Pretty chill visit from Danny--just hung out and enjoyed the company. Went to see the new Will Farrell movie. Decent flick, however, I was more in the mood for Descent which I went to see solo because Danny said he can't handle scary movies in the theater and you know my lovely wife ain't goin nowhere near that movie. Descent rocked, though.

Kevin Federline made his debut on the Teen's Choice Awards, in case you didn't know. Yeah, the Teen's Choice Award is the perfect way to gain the respect of the hip hop community. I mean, it's no Source Awards, but things get gully at Teen's Choice. Real rappers do Teen's Choice. Dude looks like a cracked out Brian Austin Green (BAG, for short). Sounds like a cracked out Brian Austin Green, too. Between him and Paris Hilton's new record, it's no surprise why the music industry's in such turmoil.

And what's up with this John Mark Karr fella?! Dude's straight lyin. When he first came out, I was already calling his bluff. Who calls a freakin press conference to confess to a murder?! I like how all the officials in Taiwan were acting like they caught the big fish. To see all those cops and investigators walking him around like they trapped him, killed him and gut him had me rolling. First off, he came to you all. Secondly, he's lying. He's a man with an obsession so deep rooted that even he believes his fiction. This is just a campaign to convince others. My lovely wife and I were discussing it and she said he could probably take a lie detector test and pass because he's so derranged. Confessing to an adoration for Justin Timberlake--now that's news. Faking a confession of killing JonBenet Ramsey, that's just a free trip to Boulder, CO. Hope it was worth it.

Just another frail, pasty, uber-creepy freakazoid. Dude needs to eat a hamburger and go back into hiding. By the looks of this photo, I'd pick him as a Elton John fan. Rocket man!

The Roundhouse lost their first game of the season bringing our record to a still respectable 3-1. Never fear, folks, we're playing well. Just came up a little short. David managed to knock the catcher off his feet in our second game. It's funny because we always take it lightly until David knocks some fella of his block and then the game takes a wicked turn. All the sudden, you're watching your back hoping someone ain't about to send you flying. I was playing first that game and, trust me, after that incident at home, I was thinking someone was gonna make an example out of me. Of course, I'm still a pretty big dude and would like to think that if you try and knock me over, it's gonna take a full-on tackle. David claimed that he all over the plate and had no option. The ump claimed David threw an elbow at him. I claim it was the most gangsta thing I've seen David do in a long time. Leave it to David. A more appropriate move toward the plate would have been a flying kick to the catchers chin. I've been working on the move and will most likely introduce it during the next game. I'm here to save the game like a memory card.

#9 coming on the j3 Top 20 Hip Hop Albums of All Time coming this evening.

Looks like I'm going to do the backstroke to work this morning. Wish me luck.


sarahsmile3 said...

I can't believe Danny saw taladaga nights again. He saw it with us when he was visiting!

Anonymous said...

What's the Elton crack mean? What cha trying to say?