Sunday, May 08, 2005


From back in the retail days. There are twenty top ways to ensure yourself bad customer service and all have been documented. I'll post just one at a time since, well, the list of twenty is quite large and might be difficult to read in one sitting as I know your time is valuable. Anyhow, thanks to Scumdog Steev for resurrecting the list at

I'm not really sure when this used to work, but for all the lamebrains out there that believe that this gives the associate added incentive to help you---you've been lied to badly. Insulting the associate usually is answered with one thing: bad service. Sure, it can be answered with many other things (i.e. gut punch, swift donkey kick, clever comeback, crotch shot, spit and so on), but all lead to the same thing and that, my friends, is an unpleasant shopping experience. Don't talk down to associates. They don't get paid enough to put up with your lip and certainly don't want to take it for the company. Usually a physical retaliation is quite rare, but you should expect the worst if you mouth off to an associate. It doesn't help a situation and it is completely uncalled for--even if you're 100 percent right. Reason being this: bad vibes travel faster than chubby kids to the candy isle. What you deal out will come right back to you. Be cool. Associates in the retail environment take more crap than is even imaginable and you, John or Jane Q. Idiot, might very well be the breaking point. You know when you hear about people that go on rampages and do really bad things? Chances are they worked retail at one time. Walk lightly. We're ready to bite and usually are just looking for a reason. When a customer spouts off, the fuse has been lit. Run like hell's on your heels.


Sassypants said...

I am so excited to read your series! I worked in retail more that I'd like to remember, and you hit it on the head: No one gets paid enough to take sh!t from fockers! However, I'm a stronger person for having retail jobs-I'm a super-nice customer because of those years of abuse.

j3 said...

yep, those who worked retail are the best customers...

i'm with you there...stay tuned...more to come.

scumdog steev said...

definitely true. working retail made me a better customer in general, whether it's at a store or a restaurant or whatever.

nobody wants to clean up after you.

and yeah, j3 wrote 19 more gems about customer service in that file. there'll be more retail-related stuff in the near future here.